the bachelor week five, part two

Hi y'all and welcome to week five, part two! Let's get started. 

Photo credit: ABC

O Canada! The girls and Sean head to beautiful Alberta, Canada. The scenery is absolutely breathtaking, and cold. Really cold. The girls settle in the Chateau Lake Louise. “If Tierra gets the one-on-one with Sean, I will throw up.” AshLee says. Haha.

Photo credit: ABC

Lindsay reads the first date card. Catherine, let’s find our fairy-tale ending, Sean. Aw that’s precious. Catherine gets ready and waits for Sean outside in the middle of a blizzard. Just waiting. Finally, Sean arrives in a giant snowbus to pick her up. They drive to Jasper National Park and have fun in the snowy, windy, icy glacierland. Sounds like a good time. I think by the end of this date I would become an icicle and Sean would have to unfreeze me. With his body heat. For like an hour. 

Photo credit: ABC

The next part of their date was Sean taking her on a horse drawn carriage ride. How romantic. And they arrive…. In an ice castle! Wow. That is freaking amazing! And the fact that it was built personally for them. I mean, how does one build a life sized castle made of pure ice? The rose embedded in the ice is genius. This reminds me of Beauty and the Beast because the rose is enclosed in a glass case and the whole movie is a fairytale, much like Sean and Catherine’s date. Even though I absolutely hate winter and freezing my butt off, I would love to have a date like this with Sean! It would be so much fun and romantic. So Catherine is really lucky to have the opportunity to experience this. They get cozy in the ice castle and Catherine shares a story from her childhood. It’s tragic and for someone, at 12 years old, to go through that and see that must be very traumatic and life changing. It touched my heart. And Sean’s as well. Their date goes really well and he gives her a rose. There’s also a small fire in front of them, in the ice castle. Must be some special ice for it to resist melting. It was really beautiful though.

The next day was the group date.

Sean and the girls will canoe on Lake Louise. Lesley is quick to hop into a canoe with Sean. AshLee is very jealous and Selma wants to tip their boat over. I love her little laugh she does, it cracked me up. Is that Lindsay I hear screaming for joy when Sean tells the girls they will do a Polar Bear plunge in the lake? Hahaha. Why is she so excited? I wouldn’t be. It is beyond freezing outside! I think I would do it but I wouldn’t be excited about it. Not like Lindsay and Daniella are, it almost makes me question their sanity. 

Photo credit: ABC

Side note: when the lady supervising them during their polar bear plunge says, ‘it’s just above freezing” this is so, so completely wrong.

Photo credit: ABC

This photo says different. 0 degrees Celsius is -32 degrees Fahrenheit, which is so way below freezing it’s not even funny. That is ice glacier cold my friends. I think she was confused because of the 0 degrees. 32 degrees Fahrenheit is 0 degrees Celsius, this is the freezing point, not 0 degrees Celsius. It amused me and thought I would point that out to everyone. But it's okay, we all make mistakes. Anyways, back to Lindsay's excitement.

Photo credit: ABC

Like, why would you be that much excited to jump in freezing cold water and risk getting hypothermia? My response to this lovely idea of emerging myself in freezing water is exactly like that of AshLee’s. She and I are on the same page with this. Then there is Selma. She absolutely refuses to do this. And when her mind is made up, it’s made up, there’s no changing it. (She told Sean this) I don’t know if she realizes this but she just shot herself in her foot by not doing the polar bear plunge with everyone else. 

Photo credit: ABC

Note to Selma: Sean is looking for an adventurous, not-so-high-maintenance woman that is willing to do anything. “Sean’s hot, I’m hot, let’s just jump in and be cold hot together.” Ha. Oh Daniella. I think I include a quote by her in each of my blogs. I should have a Daniella quote counter. So they all jump in the water and go right back out, I don’t even think they were in there for two seconds. Judging by all the screams during the whole thing, it is pretty cold. And they were cold to begin with. So now they are really, really cold. Idk how I would handle it, hopefully not freeze and die. Kind of like what happened to Tierra. She may or may not have been suffering from hypothermia. Call the paramedics! Again. Desiree and Catherine watch what’s happening from their room. They literally ask who it is like seven times. It is kind of annoying me. Geez girls, come on who do you think it is?! I looked up hypothermia and this is what I discovered: 

Photo credit: ABC

       “Hypothermia can happen within minutes of falling into cold water, but the symptoms generally develop gradually.” (MayoClinic)

Minutes, not seconds. Obviously she was freezing, but I don’t believe she was hypothermic. I mean, she was only in the water for like one second. All she needed was a ton of blankets to wrap herself up with and she would have been fine once her body temperature returned to normal. The paramedics took her back to her room and she rested in bed while eating a hamburger. She was also put on oxygen. Okay come on she doesn’t really have hypothermia people! She definitely wouldn't be eating anything because if you're hypothermic you are extremely sleepy. Everyone jumped in the water and was freezing afterwards but they were fine, some were even jumping around excitedly because they had fun. They were in the water just as long as Tierra was if not longer. I don't think even I would have gotten hypothermia and I'm really sensitive and skinny.

According to Lindsay, jumping in ice cold water was a dream come true. And I’m thinking, in what universe would that be anyone’s dream come true? Your dreams worry me, Lindsay. “I want to go all over the world and do the polar bear plunge.” That’s just crazy. Don’t do that. AshLee refers to Tierra as the little boy who cries wolf for attention and I completely agree. Sean visits her in bed and she magically recovers. Just like when she “fell” down the stairs. “Same story, different day.” As Lindsay puts it.

Moving on to the evening part of the date.

The girls go to Deer Lodge to spend time with Sean while Tierra is stuck in bed. “There’s a rose on the group date tonight and since Tierra is injured there will be more time for the rest of us. It’s a guaranteed no drama.” AshLee says. So you think. But Tierra always find a way to surprise.

Photo credit: ABC

Sean and Sarah chat privately and she shows him some family photos. Sarah I think you’re a little ahead of yourself honey. Sean isn’t supposed to meet your family until the hometown dates. If you make it that far. Which you won’t. Because showing Sean the family photos made him realize he doesn’t want to meet your family. It was a sad moment, I felt some sadness for her when Sean sent her home. Before the rose ceremony. A thought popped into my mind when she said she had a prosthesis when she was little. I thought why doesn’t she have one now? It actually really makes me wonder. Because the whole point of a prosthesis is to make your missing body part function better. You could have two arms Sarah if you choose to! So I’m perplexed by this. I forgot she loves to talk about her arm to people and it would be odd to randomly bring it up in conversation if she had a prosthetic arm. It’s easier to talk about it if people see that you only have half an arm. That’s my opinion. It makes sense right?

Meanwhile back at the witch’s lair…

Photo credit: ABC

Photo credit: ABC

Just as we expected, Tierra is fully recovered and is getting ready to crash the girls’ party. “How to fake an injury 101. If this was a class, Tierra would be teaching it. Everyone watch your back, we have a Tierrist on our hands.” Lesley describes Tierra when she enters the room where all of the girls are at. “Oh my gosh your hands are so warm.” Sean says. I bet they are. She was never hypothermic in the first place. By the way, a person who does suffer from hypothermia will have many symptoms that come on gradually and it takes them a while to recover. Unlike Tierra, who is better when Sean visits her. 

Photo credit: ABC

“Tierra, she cries wolf a lot.” Lindsay says. Yes! You hit it right on the money! That is exactly what she is doing. And I love the suspense music at that scene when Tierra is putting make up on, that is so funny. It fits the situation perfectly. Also the view of the moon (and the wolf howl) right after Lindsay says that Tierra cries wolf. I really loved that! Ha. I think it’s one of my favorite moments of the show, just because it’s so funny how they connected it to Tierra.

Apparently Sarah suffered from the Bachelor’s first date curse. And I haven’t watched previous Bachelor seasons to know exactly what this is. So I’m like very confused by this phrase. But Sean sends Sarah home because he doesn’t feel forever with her. She takes it like a champ, almost sporting the don’t care attitude. But deep down inside she is hurting. She hides it well. I really felt sad for her. Now all that’s left on the show is a bunch of two-armed crazy chicks. Except Catherine, the crazy is yet to be revealed in her. But life would be boring if we were all perfect, we need just the right amount of crazy to make things interesting :)

The next day Sean and Des go on their one-on-one date.

Photo credit: ABC

They will be repelling down a 400 foot mountain to have a picnic at the bottom. Of course they are. I tweeted about this and here is what I said: 

Des keeps saying it’s really steep and that she will fall and die. It kind of bugged me. I mean say it once and be done with it. Also, do you not see that rope in your hands and around your body? That is what will stop you from falling to your death, genius. Unless the rope breaks, then you’re s.o.l. but how often does that happen? Have some fun with it Des! This would be Lindsay’s dream date! She would probably have the greatest time repelling down. “It would be a lot harder if Sean wasn’t here right now.” Des says. You wouldn’t be there if he wasn’t there. Ha. . I think I would be as excited for this date as Lindsay was for the Polar bear plunge. I would be jumping down the mountain. Ha. It would be really funny if they got to the bottom portion of the mountain, after unhooking themselves, and then fall down. It’s like really? At the bottom you fall? Ha. But they didn’t. 

Photo credit: ABC

Photo credit: ABC

They have their picnic and then climb a tree. And shout from said tree, while the the elk (not caribou or moose) stares at them probably thinking, “wtf, why are y’all shouting?” Ha. So they wander around the woods and discover a teepee. They enter and have a chat. Sean wears an amazing sweater. Ha. And it’s not snowing so what is in her hair? The ash from the fire? She begins talking about her family and says they lived in a tent at one point. Excuse me, what? THE GIRL LIVED IN A TENT! What. The. Hell. I mean I understand that there are poor people in the world, but how poor do you really have to be to live in a tent? For four months! I heard this and bam. So many questions hit me. 

Photo credit: ABC

Where do you pitch your tent? Where do you get your food from? What do you do all day? Did your whole family live in a tent? If so, it must have been a big one to fit all of you. How did you go to the bathroom and take showers? How did you deal with the weather?  Trailer parks exist you know, and homeless shelters. Also friends’ houses. I think I would blurt out all these questions and kind of put her on the spot unintentionally, and then probably feel bad that I did but I don’t think I could have restrained myself from asking just because it’s an intriguing issue. I just didn’t get this story. Anyways, she ends up getting a rose. “I opened up about spending some of my life living in a tent and here I am falling in love in a teepee.” She says.

Photo credit: ABC

Finally it’s time for the cocktail party and rose ceremony to follow. “Let’s be honest. You’re going to wife that?” Selmas says. Ha. I wonder how your mom feels about the outfits you wear, Selma. Your two somethings always look like they are about to fall out. “So there is something that I would like to do, but I need you to hold still.” Oh I loved this. Who says this right before they kiss someone? It made me giggle. I tweeted about this and here is what I said: 

I was so confused about what Lindsay was doing when she and Sean were having their time alone. “I can’t kiss you, it’s so hard not to kiss you, I wanna kiss you, don’t do it, okay do it.” That was a lot to take in, I was just sitting there on my couch like what the heck is happening right now, what is she doing? Oh and nice secret Lindsay, Ha. No guy would fight you on that.

Photo credit: ABC

AshLee takes out a scarf. She tells Sean what the scarf means to her and asks him to blindfold her. Oh my goodness, Ashley P. wishes she was here right now! AshLee says, “I feel like I pushed a mountain out of my life.” Uhh ok Ash. Whatever that means.Is this along the line of “lifting a brick off your shoulder?” If it is, it makes sense you just phrased it weird and if it’s not then I’m totally lost of what you meant. Anyways. This show is almost over, again. Two hours blazes by. It depresses me. On the bright side, it could've been one hour like all the other shows so I guess I’m thankful that it’s two hours. Get to see more of Sean, that’s always amazing!

So it’s that time now when the girls line up in a room and nervously await for a red plant that resembles Sean’s love…

Look at Lesley's face! It scared me.

Photo credit: ABC

Lindsay gets the first red plant at the red plant ceremony. AshLee gets the next one. And finally, the last red plant goes to… Tierra. The girls that received red plants throughout the show include Catherine, Lesley and Desiree. Selma and Daniella are plantless and have to leave immediately. I was surprised he let Selma go. I bet she is super pissed about kissing Sean on national television and now having to go home. Can’t imagine how disappointed her mom is right now for her on screen kiss. You brought shame to your family and culture, and what do you have to show for it? Nothing. My thoughts about Tierra staying another week? I give up trying to understand what he sees in her, why he likes her. I give up screaming at my screen and stressing out. I just don’t care anymore about it. As long as my girl Lindsay gets a rose, I’ll be happy. My top three are Lindsay, Lesley and Catherine. I mean I was shocked that Sean gave Tierra a rose over Selma but I just give up caring. She will go home eventually. Sean won’t choose her at the end. I don’t even know why he kept her around this long but whatever. Looks like we will have to expect more Tierrable drama for next week. I wasn’t surprised that Daniella was going home. I figured it would be her and someone else.

Alrighty that wraps up week five. I'm so glad Sean feels better this week, last week was hard to see him be so sad. Onto week six! Hope everyone enjoyed reading my blog, it was shorter than the others. How did that happen? Ha. See y'all next week! 

Photo credit: ABC

“I just thought it would be a cool place to pee.” Oh God. Hahahaha. That was too great. So funny. 





Until next time...
xo

All images are screenshots of the show taken by me (not taken from anywhere on the internet). However credit is still given to ABC for having the show available to watch online.