the bachelor week four

Hello everyone week four is here! Let's begin.

No working out today! I guess we can’t expect him to do it all the time. Instead the episode opens with the girls gathered in the mansion while Chris chats with them and presents the first date card. It’s for Selma! It really doesn't take much at all to make these girls cry. And we see Tierra without makeup! I almost didn't recognize her. She’s being very quiet. How unlike her. 

Moving on...

Photo credit: ABC

Next stop: the bathroom. It's beautiful! We see Sean in his underwear. Wow nice! I don’t think it can get any better than this. He is being exploited so much. Poor guy. But that’s television. Gotta draw the people in somehow.

“I want to take it to the next level, and then the next level, and then have babies.” Selma says. Whoa, moving a little quick there? So three modes of transportation happen on this date: a limo, a freaking private jet with a red carpet and a jeep. By the way Sean... love those pink shorts! Selma asks him if he can handle all 110 lbs of her and O-M-G. I laughed. I weigh 110 lbs but I don’t go around broadcasting it to everyone. (oops, maybe I just did). She keeps asking where they're going. Sean says it's a surprise, so stop asking! And Selma, look at what you’re wearing. You’re not going salsa dancing. It’s obviously something athletic.

“It’s going to be such an amazing experience and I can’t wait.” Really Selma, is it really going to be amazing? “He took the Iraqi to the desert.” says Selma. Now that deserves my best quote of the day award! Hilarious! Ha.

Photo credit: ABC

Let’s see what happens.

Selma is so pissed. She doesn't do well in heat. Sean tells her they need to be on top of a 100 foot tall rock to get a better view of the desert and she asks if they are taking a helicopter up to it. Loved that. Selma, do you see a helicopter around? No.

Photo credit: ABC

“I’m gonna fall and die.” Way to be optimistic Selma! That's what the harness is for, so you don't fall and die. Silly girl. I don’t know why she is complaining so much. I’m not athletic at all and hate the humidity but I would love to go rock climbing. It’s on my list of things I want to accomplish before I die. Rock climbing, snowboarding, and travelling the world. Among others. She hates this date. But she ends up making it to the top and not dying. Congratulations.

Did he just say “your form looks unbelievable”? Really Sean? I bet you do like her “form” climbing up the rock in front of you. Any guy would love that view. Ha. We’re seeing all angles of Selma today. Boobs. Cuss much, Selma? You rocked it! Ha! This pun was totally unintentional. I love when that happens. Selma rocked that rock. I should win a best quote award for that one!

“Let’s go get cleaned up.” You’re in the desert! Where does one go to get cleaned up? Gonna squeeze some water out of a cactus? Ha. JK.

Evening part of the date? RV town. Having dinner in an RV. Now that’s classy! Actually scratch the dinner part. Drinking wine in an RV. Or by an RV.

Photo credit: ABC

This is the part where I get frustrated. They are lying under a blanket, her head is resting on his chest, her face is a mere 5 inches away from his, he’s touching her face and she’s giving him the kiss-me-now eyes. But then she tells him they can’t kiss. Come on! For real? He wants to kiss, she wants to kiss  but nope doesn't happen. It creates tension in me. I mean I understand where she is coming from about her culture being strict and her family not approving of kissing on national television but you can’t be snuggling up with him and looking at him like that and not kiss! Back away a little. It wouldn't be frustrating to watch if they were just sitting and talking, not cuddling. Whateverrrrr. (They most likely did kiss though, off camera. After a romantic moment like that, you would find time in private to kiss). Or maybe they didn't. What do I know?

Moving on. Let’s see if Tierra stirred up some drama back at the mansion…

The second date card arrives and it’s a group date. Roller derby. And Sarah’s on it. Because one-armed girls and roller derby go perfectly together. I don’t doubt she can do it but it’s just the fact that it makes things harder for her. What was Sean thinking when he included her on this date? I would really like to know what was going through his head.

Back to Sean and Selma and their no kissing frustration.

Aaarrrgggg! Just do it! Just once, a quick peck. Come on. So I’m at a point of yelling at my screen. Either kiss or back away. It’s driving me nuts. With all the intimate staring and twinkling eyes and telling each other you want to kiss. Just stop. Ugghh.  Whatever. They don’t kiss and she gets a rose. Their faces get even closer after she gets the rose. I’m looking away now. I just can’t take it anymore.

The next day…

Photo credit: ABC

It’s group date time! Wow Amanda, way to brag about how many group dates you've been on. Uncool. Soooo Roller derby. Looks violent. I would never try it. I would be the one falling and breaking bones. It’s not just roller skating, it’s girls pushing other girls while skating to get ahead. So there have to be some injuries. I would need all of the protection gear there is, including butt pads and a mouth guard if I were to participate in roller derby. I can’t roller skate but I can rollerblade. I just don’t like the two wheels in front and two in the back of the skates. In-line skating is so much easier! At least it is for me. Also I hate the frontal stopper on the skates! That’s where all my balance goes to crap and I fall on my face. Another reason why I prefer in-line skates, because of the rear stopper. Anyways, enough about me. Back to Sarah. She is having the time of her life. Poor girl. I felt so bad when she fell and started crying because she couldn't get up. Great idea Sean for taking her on this date.

I’m realizing as I watch this episode that when Amanda is acting normal, laughing and having fun she is actually sort of pretty and approachable. On the other hand when she is being rude, weird and giving death stares she comes off as this crazy, creepy girl. I like the normal happy Amanda. Without the crazy make-up.

So Amanda, who has done roller derby before (no, she hasn't) literally falls on her face and almost breaks her jaw. I bet that sucked! As she is holding her chin, Sean asks, “where does it hurt?” Thanks man I needed this giggle. Obviously her chin hurts since she is holding it. Unless she’s weird Amanda again and holds her chin for no reason. Ha. One thing about me that you have picked up from reading my blogs is that I’m very sarcastic. Sometimes my comments aren't mean but sometimes they really are and I’m sorry for that. But it’s all in good fun. So after Amanda goes to the ER, Sean decides to screw the derby and just have fun skating, which should have been the original plan. Sarah ended up being a trooper and skated with the rest of the girls. Good job girl!

Photo credit: ABC

Hey guys great idea! Let’s go back to the roof of the Roosevelt hotel. Because I've never been there before. (Sorry, more sarcasm). Just saying they go on roofs a lot. And Amanda’s back from the hospital! No broken jaw. She still has no fashion sense. I literally jumped out of my seat when Sean kissed Amanda’s chin. I did not see that coming. Okay never stick out your tongue and make that face every again, Amanda. It was disturbing to see.

Back at the mansion the girls are always just sitting around. Every time we see them that’s all they’re doing. How boring. Crank up some music and dance or something. Play a game. But anyway another date card arrives.  “Leslie H, could this be forever?” (nope.) She also gets a pair of diamond earrings that she gets to keep. That’s awesome.

Photo credit: ABC

Tierra "fusstrates" me. She is rude and threatens to leave the show. You want to leave Tierra? Freaking do it. We all having been waiting for you to leave! The house would be so much friendlier and drama-less. She has hit a new low. At least for now. I’m sure if she makes it through the rose ceremony tonight there will be worse stunts that she will pull. As Sean and Lindsay were heading to the hot tub, along comes Tierra to interrupt. Rude much? Geez. I would have been heated. For real. But I was shocked that he just left Lindsay standing there while talking to Tierra. I would be like “Tierra, F- off I’m busy”. Ha how would she have felt then? But seriously that was so wrong of her to barge in on them like that and sob nonsensely. That’s a word. Even if I just made it up. Poor Tierra, she is being tortured by the other girls who are doing absolutely nothing to her and she has to keep it all inside. Get over yourself, stop acting like you're in high school and start acting mature like the other girls. (I love using Tierra's phrases against her, have you noticed?) The other girls are feeling the same thing but we don’t see them doing the shit you do to get attention. Sean falls for her crap and gives her a rose. “I don’t want a sympathy rose” Tierra says. Ha that’s exactly what she got. In my opinion she shouldn't have gotten a rose at all! It should have been Lindsay’s. These are the girls' reactions as well as mine...

Photo credit: ABC

Even as a pity rose, it still outraged me that he would give it to her. I think I screamed at my television the entire time. My neighbors probably heard me.  She is completely evil and the look she gives the camera after Sean leaves to get the rose proves this. 

Photo credit: ABC

Let’s take a look… 

Omg I cannot wait until Sean sends her home! 

This is happening. I don’t know when but it’s 

happening. "Manipulative bitch" is not his style. 

There are genuinely sweet girls in the house. 

The next day…

Holy Toledo is jealous of holy moly. I didn't count how many times Leslie said holy moly, but it’s a lot. Anyways.. Leslie H goes on her date with Sean. As they pull up (in a Porsche, or whatever it is) and park on Rodeo Dr, there are people in the background just standing around and staring after them. I love this! Their faces are hilarious. Oh, can’t forget the man taking a picture of them! Ha. Too funny.

Photo credit: ABC

The theme is Pretty Woman. Seriously? They go dress shopping. “I’m getting a gown, getting shoes, getting a purse,” (going home) “it’s a girls dream!” The dress she picked isn't cute. The first one she tried on was the prettiest. Pretty Woman  is a cute movie with a happy ending and I love both Richard Gere and Julia Roberts but it wouldn't be my dream to have a date based on that movie. But whatever. When she says, “I’m a tan Julia Roberts,” it cracked me up! No Leslie, you’re not. Next they have dinner. Look at that beautiful dinner that’s sitting in front of them. Delicious! Yet, they don’t touch it, not even the wine. Usually the food gets eaten off camera but on this particular date I don’t think it does. Unless they eat and refill their plates. 

Photo credit: ABC

He tells a story (pertaining to her), picks up the rose and says… he can’t give it to her. Whaaaat? Why would you pick up the rose, make her think she’s getting it, and then say no? That’s mean. Just plain mean. I kind of felt bad for her. She didn't see it coming. They didn't even finish their date and she got sent home. So here’s some jewelry, a dress and shoes. Tell me about your broken family. Now go home. That really, really sucks. It was especially sad when he picked up the rose and she got very excited. Aww. Bye Leslie. I liked her. Ben Taylor is singing a love song, but to who? The date ended… And this confused me.. Sean goes back upstairs to get the rose just so he can drop it from the second floor. Alright.. whatever floats his boat.

Sean says to all of the girls, “if you have questions come talk to me about it.” Or better yet, cry to him about it.  Maybe he’ll give you a rose. I’m sorry, was that crossing the line? I had to say it, I don’t approve of Tierra’s pre-ceremony rose. It really sucks that Sean doesn’t see her for who she really is. He doesn't see her evil side. Hopefully with time, everything will be revealed.

Moving toward a brighter atmosphere…

Robyn really makes me laugh, I love her! She is so cute. “Sean, do you like chocolate? Do you like the taste of chocolate? Do you want to taste the chocolate? Which chocolate do you want to taste?” Wow. Girl, oh my goodness. She asks him the same question three times. That’s awesome. Not at all surprising, considering her sense of humor, I expected her to say something like that at one point or another.

There’s Tierra, walking around flaunting her pity rose around. Ha. But nonetheless it’s still a rose and keeps her safe from elimination. Which blows. Lindsay’s face is awesome. And I find it funny that Tierra tries to find comfort in Amanda, the other nutcase. But I guess Amanda isn’t as bad as Tierra, she’s just weird at times with her attitude. Tierra actually schemes and is a manipulator. This proves my point when Tierra says, “I came here to win this.” Really? You only came to win the show? What about Sean? Do you even care about him at all or just the fame and the fact that you won? Sorry, homeboy don’t play that game. The sooner he figures this out, the better things will be.

Photo credit: ABC

Tierra is Tierrable! Bless Catherine for coming up with that. Ha. “I can read Tierra and I know that she has a good heart and I know that she’s here for the right reasons.” Sean says. No. False! So many wrong things said in one sentence. Right after this she says, “I’m keeping my eyes on the prize.” My point is made. Sean is not a prize to be possessed. But from his perspective I guess I can’t be too hard on him because he doesn't know any better. He only sees what she presents and not anything that the other girls see. Oh man when he watches the episodes and finds out she is a real two faced b-word, he will be shocked. Ryan Seacrest interviewed Sean on Friday and Sean does call Tierra evil. That was the best thing I've heard him say. He now knows Tierra’s true self. I feel like I’m talking about her too much.

Catherine is smart. She doesn't think telling on Tierra to Sean is a good idea. She’s not putting herself in the middle of Tierra’s crap like you were doing to yourself, Kacie. Maybe you would still be around if you were smart like Catherine. Maybe you wouldn't. There was no romantic connection with you and Sean anyway. Have you found a real job yet?

Photo credit: ABC

Catherine and Sean talk alone and she gives him a 
paper with her kiss on it. That’s adorable. I wouldn't 
want to kiss him in front of all the girls either. Like I 
said, girlfriend is a smart cookie. 

Photo credit: ABC

Rose ceremony time! Catherine gets the first rose. Des gets the next rose. Lindsay is next. Followed by Robyn, AshLee, Sarah, Jackie, and Daniella. Lesley, Selma and Tierra have pre-ceremony roses. Which means Amanda with her scary dark red lipstick, messy hair and weird dress is going home! Her style scared him off. Good Sean, now just eliminate Tierra next week and all should be right with the world. There’s no limo for Amanda, she has to walk home, all the way to Newport Beach. Have fun on your 13 hour walk home, maybe ponder what you did wrong. Or take a bus. You forgot your ugly wardrobe at the mansion. Now Sean is down to 11 ladies.

Omg the outtakes. Holy crap that is hilarious! Sean totally says my favorite cuss phrase. Loooved that. With him being so perfect I didn’t expect him to cuss. Ha. Also loved that Selma was the one to figure out what was wrong with the car. Leave it to the woman to solve things. What would men do without us? Include outtakes in every episode please!

Well that wraps up my recap of week 4. Can’t wait until week 5. Two episodes to watch and recap! Double the romance and double the drama. I’m excited! Bring it on! 

Until next time…

xo

All images are screenshots of the show taken by me (not taken from anywhere on the internet). However credit is still given to ABC for having the show available to watch online.

the bachelor week three

Welcome to week three!

How can we start off this episode tonight? Let’s brainstorm. Oh yeah, Sean will be working out. Obviously. It would be cruel not to begin each episode with a look at Sean’s fabulous abdominals. Take note of this statement producers! They did mix it up a bit, Sean’s work out included the treadmill. Which is always nice.

Photo credit: ABC

Moving on.

Chris has the girls gathered around the bold, bright paintwork that is the living room. Desiree doesn't look too excited for the date card Chris left them with.

Not even five minutes in and I have my winner for Best Quote of the Day. It belongs to Robyn when she says, “I want the date card to say, ‘Robyn, let’s ditch these bitches and go fall in love for real.’” HA! I love this. Absolutely made me giggle. The first date is for Lesley M. I love the zoom on Leslie H. when Selma reads the date card. Automatically we know it won't be her.

Photo credit: ABC

I am in love with Leslie M.'s dress! 

So cute and fun. And sexy. And really, very short.

Sean takes her to the Guinness World of Records. She’s not impressed. Until Sean shows her his dad’s world record on display. It’s pretty amazing! The road trip must have been super fun. So they meet up with Chris and he tells them they will be attempting to break the Longest On-Screen Kiss record. Oh goodness this will be interesting! Three minutes and 16 seconds is a loooooong time to kiss. She takes control and kisses like a pro. She does the whole face-holding, playing-with-the-hair type thing. Somewhere Arie is very proud of this girl. She be doin’ his moves! Ha. I don’t know about Lesley, but I would be through the roof excited for this challenge! Not only will the kiss be with Sean, but it will be eternally long and recorded in the Guinness record book. How exciting is that??

It’s so fun to watch, Lesley wants to laugh so hard but she can’t otherwise they would fail. Keep it together girl! I love the three different camera angles. Makes it more interesting to see the different views at the same time. “The hardest part is trying not to laugh because our lips will come unsealed.” Says Sean about the kiss. Yeah, that would be pretty difficult, I’m not sure if I could have restrained myself from laughing. I think Chris mentions in his blog that they failed their first attempt (by laughing} and had to start over. Which is cheating, but hey it would be pointless to watch if they didn’t make it.

Photo credit: ABC

Did we catch the butt grabs? And as short as her dress already is, it’s even shorter now. Still very pretty. Love the lace detail and the open back. Good thing it’s a tight dress and doesn’t ride up easily {and it’s not windy out}. Wonder how awkward it was for them to make out for this long with a crowd cheering them on. Oh wow I didn't even notice the couple making out next to Sean and Lesley the first time! Did anyone else see that? (This is my second time watching this episode). “5..4..3..2..1.. ok that’s it! That’s it! Stop!” Chris exclaims when they broke the record but are still kissing. They continued for at least ten more seconds. Confetti flies around everywhere. And who gets to keep the certificate? I would assume she does. Or they might just hang it up in the Bachelor Mansion somewhere. 
If it was me I would want to keep it.

Commercial plays and then its night time when the show returns. What? Hold up, it was broad daytime, like noon or something, during the on-screen kiss and now it’s night time? Where the heck did the rest of the day go? Whatevs. So they are on a roof on top of the freaking Roosevelt hotel. That's crazy. Sean must love roofs! Many dates happen on roofs.

“That’s the best compliment you could give me” she says. And Sean’s response? 
A very long pause.  ....

“I took control back. Now I’m waiting for you to take it back.” he says. And Lesley’s response? 
A very long pause.  ....  
These two are made for each other! Ha. But I did find it adorable that he hinted at her to kiss him. It was so sweet.

Photo credit: ABC

The thing with the wine glasses cracks me up. They keep holding them even when kissing. I was yelling at her through my screen to put it down! Ha. It makes me nervous just watching what will happen. Are they going to spill or not. Like I don’t know how they can kiss and hold them! If it was me I would have to put it down before kissing. I definitely wouldn't be able to hold it and kiss. Either I would be focused on the wine and not spilling it and have a weird kiss or I would focus on the kiss and forget I’m holding the wine and end up spilling it. It would be pretty embarrassing either way. But it’s awkward holding the glass and kissing, you don’t know what to do with your hand, it’s like in the way and you don’t want to hit the other person with it. This would happen to me. So they talk, she gets a rose and they kiss again.

Photo credit: ABC

OK WHERE THE HECK DID THE CONFETTI COME FROM? Was there someone hiding around the corner and as they kissed the confetti was released? That’s weird. Or maybe a confetti timer somewhere?

Meanwhile, back at the mansion…

Another date card arrives. It’s a group date! Those are always fun. And it’s a lovely trip to the beach for 12. Side note: Amanda has no fashion sense. What is she wearing? On a different note: Kristy and I have the same shorts! Ha.

Photo credit: ABC

Sean does push-ups with Catherine on his back. Wow Catherine, did you come up with that idea all on your own?

Chris Harrison joins the beach party fun! This should be interesting. He tells the girls that they will be split into teams and compete against each other in a beach volleyball game. Awesome.

Photo credit: ABC

Dear volleyball game: you are an epic fail. Epic. Fail. Most of the girls, maybe 10 out of 12, suck at volleyball. It’s not that hard, if it comes to you, you hit it. I don’t see a reason for struggle. For Daniella especially, she struggles the most. Volleyball challenged much? I bet her team was pretty upset with her for missing so many points. My girl Lindsay killed it! She dominated the game. Way to go girl!

Photo credit: ABC

And it’s Kristy who lost it for her team. That’s probably why we see her sobbing like someone in her family had just died. Relax girl it’s only a game. You will survive this, I promise. Some advice: trying to hit the ball with one arm… bad idea. You will always miss. I was on a volleyball team in school so I know these things.

Sean takes the winning team to his house for the second part of the date. “I love that I get to spend time with Sean at his house” I think Des says this. But the point is that IT’S NOT ACTUALLY HIS HOUSE. Ha.

Kristy is crying again when the girls arrive back at the mansion. Catherine is chill I love that about her. We would definitely be best friends. And Lesley M. The three amigos!

Photo credit: ABC

Sean and Lindsay talk in private and I think I saw a tattoo on her left wrist… They kiss and there’s face holding again! Both do it at the same time and it looks funny. Like odd funny. Nevertheless, Arie is cheering somewhere. Sean is slowly picking up his moves. I like the face holding. I think it adds intimacy to the kiss.

Desiree’s turn to have two minutes of alone time with Sean. “You saw me killing it?” she says about the volleyball game. Sean replies, “smashing people.” Hahaha, what?

Back at the mansion….

Date card rings the doorbell. I’ll always be impressed by this. Tierra races to the door. Because she has an evil plan in the works. And the date is for… AshLee!  And Selma. What? Since when is there a two-on-one date? There isn’t. If we were watching the Bachelorette, then that happens all the time. Plenty of two-on-ones. But we’re not, we’re watching The Bachelor. That might have been the cruelest joke in the history of cruel jokes. I would slap a hoe right there. You do not do that to a girl! Can’t imagine how Selma must have felt. Shiiiiiiityyyyy! The amazing part is Tierra doesn’t even realize what she just did. She thinks it’s funny but it’s not in the least bit. Come on Tierra how would you feel if someone did that to you? Oh wait I think we can all guess what you would do. I felt so bad for Selma. Poor girl. That’s seriously messed up.

Photo credit: ABC

“That really wasn’t funny. Don’t ever read my name on 

a date card as a joke.” Says Sarah. True dat! That 

was so wrong. Check out Tierra’s face. She is exultant. 

Meanwhile at "Sean's" house...

The private conversations with Sean continue and it appears to be Amanda's turn. I laughed so hard when she said she will bring a "light, fun, airy atmosphere" if they got married. If I was consuming any liquid during that scene I would have spit it all over the place! Then I would need to clean it up. That would suck. Anyways... Apparently Desiree and the girls she is with are sitting very close to them and can hear Sean and Amanda's conversation. To which Desiree says, “You are kiiiidding me girl.” Ha I love how she says this about Amanda’s fake happiness when she’s around Sean. 

Moving on… this is where things get confusing. Kacie opens her mouth and a bunch of nonsense comes out.

She tells Sean about Desiree and Amanda's drama. Yeah, that's a splendid idea. I completely agree with Sean. Amanda’s drama has nothing to do with you, Kacie so why are you involving yourself? The fact that this situation is making you feel like you can’t be yourself is weird. You’re not making any sense! And she says she’s in the middle of it when she is putting herself in the middle. “I don’t feel like it’s my place” she says. YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT IT’S NOT YOUR PLACE SO WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT IT? I don’t get it. Sean doesn’t get it. Not to mention he calls you crazy. Warning: you might be going home. Sean don’t dig the crazy chicks. But then again, Tierra and Amanda are still here. 

Photo credit: ABC

I’m not a drama person.” She says. And right after she says that Sean clears his throat. It’s the obviously-you-are-a-drama-person throat clear. I swear she contradicts herself at least five different ways in this single conversation. She says she doesn't want to hurt the girls and yet she is telling on them to Sean. I want to know what she expected to happen when she told him this. What did she expect him to do about it? Have a little sit down with Desiree and Amanda and have a special talk with them? Nuh-uh.

So AshLee is getting ready for her date with Sean. Ok I know you have to bring a change of clothes on the date with you but why a full suitcase of stuff? Are you really going to change outfits every hour? Or half hour… Oh and that dress! It’s not cute.

Call 911 someone has fallen down the stairs! Guess who? None other than Tierra. Either she practices daily falling down staircases until she figures out how to land perfectly on the bottom of them or she never fell in the first place.

Photo credit: ABC

I want to actually see someone fall down the stairs and land like Tierra does. She obviously faked it. There’s no way you can end up laying like that after you fall down the stairs. No way. Let’s take a look at her position on the stairs. It’s perfect. Her butt sits perfectly on the stair and so does her head. That doesn't happen when you actually fall down the stairs. I should know I have fallen down the stairs a couple times. “Seconds before I walked in” Sean says. SECONDS before. Hmm that’s a little fishy. “This is embarrassing. This is so stupid.” she says while the paramedics are trying to help her. YES TIERRA, IT IS! It is very stupid you would fake an injury and cause more drama for everyone. While I further investigate the fall, I hear thuds and then screams. But in reality the scream would come first and then the thuds, am I wrong? One more note: that was the weakest scream ever. So forced.

Photo credit: ABC

What is your deal Tierra? Also the hospital thing, if you refuse to go you are faking it. Everyone knows that. Then when Sean is sitting with her she is all better. Because nothing happened to her. Here is a photo of her after she “falls and hits her head”… Does that look like a concussed person? Or an evil genius?

“Nothing is really wrong with you little doll” AshLee says. I love the “little doll” part. Ha. So true. AshLee, I love your wittiness.

“You should start falling down the stairs more often” Sean says. WHAT ARE YOU DOING GIVING HER IDEAS SEAN? You know she will do it. DON’T ENCOURAGE THE CRAZY!

Photo credit: ABC

So after all of the dumb Tierra drama, AshLee and Sean finally go on their date. He takes her to an amusement park. She wears a dress. A really short dress. I wonder how that’s going to work out for her. Where’s the suitcase full of clothes she packed?

Photo credit: ABC 

But I do love this date. Sean bringing Emily and Brianna to the amusement park was amazing. That’s my favorite part about him. He is so much involved with charity and giving back that makes my heart melt and love him so much more. I love the western photography photo shoot. I have the exact same picture with two of my friends.                       Here it is...

Sean had the Eli Young Band perform a mini concert for AshLee and the girls. I love the song they sang but how awkward was it for the band to sing when it was just Sean and AshLee? While watching them make out? I bet super awkward, they probably got paid well.

Photo credit: ABC

When Sean and AshLee were alone talking, she was telling him her story about her family and he teared up. It was so sweet and heartfelt. I wanted to give him a big bear hug! Like this…

Photo credit: Team Husar Wildlife Photography

It is time once again for the cocktail party…

Sean gathers all the girls for a quick chat and then leads Sarah to a limo. “Wait, are you sending me home? You can’t do this to me!” Sarah says freaking out. Nope it’s not your time yet Sarah, Sean has a special surprise for you. IT’S LEO! How classy is a dog in a limo?? So precious. Sucks for whoever had to clean up the limo after Leo.

Photo credit: ABC

Photo credit: ABC

We see Sean and Tierra 

talking privately at one point. Tierra’s forehead dent should have its own twitter page. Her eyebrows already do! 
Hey eyebrow, you wanna be bff''s? -Love, forehead dent. 

Wow girls are stealing Sean left and right. Its madness! I mean he goes through like ten girls in, what, two minutes? (At least it seems so the way it was edited, or maybe it really happened this way. That would be impressive. Or scary. Or both.) Like I said it’s a cat and mouse chase.

Lookie here! Kracie… uhh I mean Kacie is back! And wants to talk to Sean about Des and Mandy. Oh Gawd. Again? Why! Kacie, you are just making it worse for yourself. Here’s some advice woman to woman: stop talking. Save yourself from more crazy.

Anyways… I totally thought I heard Sean say “I’ll see you girls with the rest of the money.” Okay what? That was a major confusing moment for me. I had to rewind and listen again. But if you think about it and say it all very fast, the two sentences sound similar. Rose ceremony… rest of the money… kinda? Don’t judge me.

Rest of the money Rose ceremony time!

I see the roses still have extremely long stems. Seriously I want to take one and measure it. Any guesses on the length? Mine is about a foot and a half. That’s freaking long! Would it really harm anything to make the stems a normal length?

Okay back to business... The first rose…

Very long pause, longer than usual. And oh snap! Sean separates Kacie and sends her home. We all saw that coming. I told you girl you were making it worse for yourself. Shouldn’t have told Sean about the Desiree/Amanda drama and now you’re going home. I’m sure she saw it coming too. I mean when you get separated from the other girls at the rose ceremony you know something’s not right. Kacie got demoted from friend zone to awkward-avoid-this-girl zone. And omg, what is she wearing? It’s not stylish.

Photo credit: ABC

Bye Kacie. Now you can get back to your job. Which is still Ben’s season. Find a real one. You have plenty of time now.

I’m sorry, am I being too mean?

So Sean’s back and the first rose goes to Tierra. Ugh whatever I’m not even going to say anything. Next rose goes to Leslie H. Then it’s Catherine, Daniella, Robyn, Selma, Sarah, Jackie, and Amanda. And the final rose of the night goes to Desiree. “Des, will you accept this rose?” Aww Sean is calling her Des now. That’s adorable. Lindsay, Leslie M, and AshLee already have pre-ceremony roses.

So there we have it. Another rose ceremony come and gone. With two more ladies leaving. Taryn and Kristy. Sorry girls. Should have fought harder. Maybe if you didn't fail at volleyball, you might still be here, Kristy. 
Sean is now down to 13 lucky ladies.

That wraps up this episode recap! Hope you enjoyed it. Good night.

Until next time…

xo

All images are screenshots of the show taken by me (not taken from anywhere on the internet). However credit is still given to ABC for having the show available to watch online.

the bachelor week two

Hello all! Week two of the bachelor has arrived!

Here we go.

This second episode begins by sort of recapping the last episode in about 75 seconds. That's impressive! After this we see Sean working out. Dude works out a lot. I'm not complaining! And yes, he is shirtless. Mmm. Gimme some more of that! Ha. Unfortunately, I couldn't get a good photo of this. I'm sorry if I just depressed you. Read on, there are plenty of photos. 

Holy Toledo! ABC went there! After Sean finishes his ten second work out we see him showering. Jaws drop and ladies swoon. Oh goodness gracious. How awkward was that for Sean you think to have cameras watch him shower. What a sight.

And we have more v-necks! Brown this time. 

Yes. I love this. So incredibly sexy. 

Photo credit: ABC

 In this next scene the ladies gather around in a room at the bachelor mansion and listen to Chris Harrison talk about Sean. I love the colors of the room. Very nice paint work. 

Photo credit: ABC

Chris has the first date card. Kristy reads it. Let's see who gets the date! It's Sarah! She will enjoy the first date of the season. She must be so excited. I, for sure would be! I wonder who helps her get ready. As she is getting ready a helicopter arrives at the mansion. Seriously? A helicopter? I guess it is The Bachelor. Getting a car to pick up a girl for a date is too boring. This show is known for their extraordinary modes of transportation and exotic locations for dates. Which is awesome! 

Photo credit: ABC

I wish I could ride in a helicopter. I would have a blast!

Everyone runs out to see it. Smart move girls. Now you are all covered in dirt. Hopefully no one spent too much time getting pretty.

Sean and Sarah fly over Los Angeles and finally land on a skyscraper that is 300 feet from the ground. 

Photo credit: ABC

This should be interesting. He tells her they will free fall all the way down the building to where they have champagne waiting for them. This is the beginning of Sarah’s freak-out session. “Free fall?! What catches you?” She says, still freaking out. The ground, Sarah, the ground catches you. Just kidding that would be tragic. She continues to freak out as they are getting ready to fall. It’s scary for me to even watch them, I think I would be freaking out a lot more. 

Photo credit: ABC

It’s basically like a rollercoaster ride. Extreme speeds and it’s done in about thirty seconds. I’m not a huge fan of rollercoasters. I went to Six Flags once, it was fun at the end when I decided to be fearless and try all of the rollercoasters. (At the beginning it took some time getting used to the atmosphere). Side note: I love the blurred out Jurassic Park T-shirt the guy was wearing! They make it down and enjoy some one on one deep conversation while sipping on champagne. Sarah begins talking about her arm again. She tells a cute story, very inspiring. But were the zooms on her half arm really necessary? 

Photo credit: ABC

Meanwhile, back at the house another date card arrives! Love the doorbell. I didn't know card stock was able to do that! Maybe only the special date cards from this show can ring doorbells. Anything is possible at the Bachelor mansion. Robyn is too excited to read it. It turns out to be a group date! Its members include Kristy, Amanda, Brooke, Lesley M, Daniella, Catherine, Robyn, Katie, Selma, Diana, Taryn, Kacie and Tierra.

As they get ready we flash back to Sean and Sarah. They talk about her past relationship and he gives her a rose. And a kiss. Several kisses. Very tiny ones. She only had one date with the guy and already she’s falling in love? There’s still eight weeks ahead, girl. Still got quite a journey to go! But it’s cute that she’s already admitting it.

The girls all get into the limo together and drive to a “castle” as they call it. It does look like a castle. This is where Ashley and J.P. had their beautiful wedding. It was really lovely. 

Sean is standing on the balcony, looking absolutely handsome 

waiting for the girls. “What’s up giiiirrrrls!” I love how he said that. 

Absolutely loved it.

Photo credit: ABC

Kacie’s occupation is still Ben’s season.

Photo credit: ABC

The girls follow Sean into the mansion and he tells them they are doing a photo shoot. Oh man does Kristy get excited! If I was a professional model and was doing this every day for a living I wouldn't be this excited. Can Kristy’s shorts be any shorter? She might as well not be wearing any. Again, she is overjoyed and freaking out that she will have this once in a lifetime opportunity to dress up and model in front of a camera. Ha. “Kristy has extensions!” Tierra says, stunned. Then goes on about how she is 100% all natural. Yeah, we all can see your [fake] naturalness, Tierra.                Moving on...

Photo credit: ABC

Photo credit: ABC

The girls are dressed in pretty gowns, cowgirl outfits, vampires and historical figures. Diana will get her “country on” as she puts it. And Lesley M. gets quite intimate with Sean. He gets his shirt ripped off (of course, right? I'm surprised it even took this long) and a kiss between the two is suggested. They kiss and all of the girls become jealous and give mean glares. Especially Tierra, the queen of mean glares. With her arched eyebrows. Girl, please.

Photo credit: ABC

Tierra’s turn for the photo shoot! She couldn't resist but kiss him. Personally I don’t think she did well at the photo shoot but I also don’t think she cares. What am I talking about? She performs for the camera all the time when she plays this sweet, smiley character with Sean and a serious b-word with the girls in the house when Sean isn't around. Sean was right on the money when he said she may have a catty side to her.

I can talk about Tierra all day, but I believe it’s the very excited Ford model Kristy’s turn for her photo shoot with Sean. Could she be any more ecstatic? Her smile is so big I think I see all of her 50 teeth! (I know she doesn't have 50 teeth, it's just an expression. I'm not dumb).

The photo shoot is over and we already know who won without needing it to be confirmed. Congrats to the Ford model who does this every day. Girlfriend was too excited! I'm sure you will have a grand time with your three book covers. My favorite line of this episode so far belongs to Selma when she says, “Girl you can haaaave the cover, I’m gonna have the man.” Just the way she says it and watching her facial expression is awesome! Selma, you crack me up! 

Sean wants to get out of his clothes so he suggests....

A pool party! Hold up, make that sitting-around-the-pool party where no one is actually in the pool and has all of their clothes still on.. Okay. So Lesley M. and Sean go into a dark room to talk. What up with the lights? Saving electricity for the environment… how considerate. Earth loves you right now. 

Photo credit: ABC

Are they having an awkward moment in the darkness? Someone alert Amanda! Are they going to kiss, are they not going to kiss? It’s like playing cat and mouse. In this case Sean is the adorable mouse with 26 cats chasing after him. They eventually don’t kiss and leave regretting they didn't. Ohhh how your conscience is killing you when you wanted that kiss so badly but didn't go for it, so you go and interrupt some other girl while she’s having her alone time with him and you get some balls like Lindsay to finally kiss him. Yeah, that feeling. It sucks.

So Kacie sits down with Sean now and they chat about why she came on the show. He’s surprised, she’s surprised, we’re all surprised. I love when he hesitates about whether or not to give her a chance as a potential girlfriend. That’s a clue. He’s willing to explore that aspect but it seems that he’s not fully sure of himself if he wants to go there. Kacie is stuck in the friend zone, and in the friend zone she will remain.

Where’s Sarah? Haven’t seen her in a while. She disappeared after her date with Sean.

Breaking news! Catherine is vegan but loves the beef.

Photo credit: ABC

And the only girl to ever eat on this show… Tierra. At least we know the food is real. I was beginning to wonder about this… 

"I'm starving!" she says loudly. Yes Tierra, put food into your mouth. It's healthier than drama coming out of it.

Sean takes Tierra to a bench in the middle of the mansion’s front yard. And oh look, a blanket! How convenient. They talk about how he noticed she was uncomfortable after the photo shoot. Her true identity is one step closer to being revealed! Come on Sean, you see right through her bullsh*t right?

There are random blankets everywhere! It’s the attack of the bachelor blanket! Run! That is too funny. I wonder how many blankets there are in total just lying around... waiting.

Date card rings the doorbell again! It’s for Desiree! Meanwhile, I can’t take my eyes off of Katie’s poodle hair. I feel like she enhances it and makes it poofier. If it were me (and thank God it’s not) I would at least try to manage it to appear like normal hair. But that’s just me. All of the girls’ hair looks like they just finished a round of pillow fights. 

Photo credit: ABC

It's what they do when they are bored at the house because 

apparently they aren't allowed any other entertainment. 

Kacie and Katie talk and I feel like Kacie encourages Katie to leave. And Katie is actually doing it! It’s happening! She wants to leave the show. That is so great. What did she think was going to happen when she came on the show? That Sean will only pay attention to her and she won’t need to work hard for him? Homegirl be trippin. Go on home with your weird hair and yoga skills. Is she wearing shoes yet? She wasn't in the first episode. Bye Katie. Sean wasn’t too upset. HA.

Everyone gathers around the room and Sean gives Kacie the rose! You’re still in the friend zone though, Kacie. I’m just not feeling the chemistry between y’all.

Photo credit: ABC

So next on the agenda is Desiree’s one-on-one date with Sean. 

Sean, you played a prank on Emily last season and she sent you home, do you really think pranking Desiree is a good idea? Punk’d is in the house! Where’s Ashton? I miss that show. Sean looks really good in purple colored attire. Sean punks Des and she seems happy about it. 

Seriously, here is her face… 

Photo credit: ABC

She looks like she wants to let out a big long laugh. I know I wouldn't be smiling. Not at all. I think I would cry. Until I find out it's a joke. Then I would laugh. And then Sean would really feel bad after the prank. I wonder what Tierra would have done. Probably break all of the other art pieces in anger. Chris Harrison is loving this prank a little bit too much. He is grinning like no one else! He wins the biggest grin award for this episode. I should make this a regular thing. Amanda won this award last episode and now Chris. 

Photo credit: ABC

Let’s take a quick look at his face… 

Des takes it well and doesn't get mad at Sean. So he takes her back to "his" place which isn't his place at all, just for the duration of the show. He cooks this huge dinner and they, of course, don’t eat it. (They probably do, it’s just not shown because that would be boring to watch). Off to the pool they go! More talking and kissing in the pool. He offers her a rose. She leaves him hanging for a little bit as payback for the prank but eventually accepts it. And oh my goodness I love Sean’s swim 

trunks. Too adorable! 

Photo credit: ABC

Elsewhere in the house... Cocktail party time! Let’s not pull a Ashley P and get too drunk okay girls? 

Photo credit: ABC

I absolutely love Catherine’s green and black dress.“You have an infectious personality…?” Sean tells Catherine. 
I love how he says this. 
And the two second pause after, like he wants to 
say something else but won’t. It’s funny.

Loooving Lindsay’s black and white dress!

Photo credit: ABC

Wow. I want it. And she is fully 

sober tonight! Yay! She is so cute.

They talk and have a jolly time.

I still want that dress. Girl, 

where did you get it? Hit me up! Ha.

Okay, moving on.

Amanda. Wow. What happened to you? You are completely suffering from personality change. For real. Amanda was normal last episode and even the first half of this episode but something must have ticked her off for her to act like a creepy psycho with a very ugly yellow dress that has 1950s shoulder pads.

Photo credit: ABC

Come on what is that about? I mean at least be responsive and don’t look like you want to stab every girl in the house. Moving on… away from the crazy. Robyn asks Sean a very important question and that is if he is interested in black girls. His response is perfect and it makes her feel better. I like Robyn, I hope she sticks around for a while. Selma teaches Sean Arabic which is precious.

What time is it? Rose ceremony time! Let’s get down to business. Sean has more than seven roses to hand out tonight. Cue suspense music!

AshLee receives the first rose. Yay, go girl! My girl Lindsay gets the next one. I still really want that dress she’s wearing. Absolutely gorgeous! Robyn accepts a rose. Jackie is next. Lesley M! Selma gets a rose. Followed by Catherine. Kristy is next. Leslie H. Tierra gets a rose. Taryn gets one as well. Two roses left. Daniella gets a rose. Is Chris Harrison behind a wall and listening to when Sean is down to one rose? I mean how does he always pop up at the perfect time? He’s magic.

And the final rose of the night goes to… nooooo!!

Sean gives Amanda a rose. Sean!! Why???!! I honestly don’t have a clue why you like her. She is putting up a front and acting all nice and sweet when actually she is so creepy and weird. Damn it. Amanda, with her ugly yellow dress and rude attitude stays for another week. Ughh. Seriously that dress is completely hideous and needs to be burned. I’m so mean. Ah well. What can you do?

So Brooke and Diana have to leave. I have no idea why but every time I see Diana I think her name is Daniella. I have to remind myself that Daniella is the one that looks like Britney Spears.

Photo credit: ABC

“It’s the island Hades!” 

Alrighty we have reached the end of this episode and the conclusion of this blog. 
I hope you enjoyed reading it. It was as long as the first one. Deal with it. :) I have a lot of 
thoughts and I have to share them for all of you to read. Come back later for my week three recap! 

Until next time…

xo

All images are screenshots of the show taken by me (not taken from anywhere on the internet). However credit is still given to ABC for having the show available to watch online.