The Bachelor week eight

Sawatdee! That means ‘hello’ in Thai. How glad are you to be reading my blog? Now you know some Thai when you visit Thailand :) Isn’t that wonderful? You’re welcome. 

These last remaining weeks Sean has taken us to Thailand. This is week 8.

So the first few minutes are just recapping how Sean feels about each girl. Clips are shown of the time they spent together and how their relationship progressed until this point.

Next is Sean’s pool scene. I miss seeing him half naked in the beginning of episodes. It has been too long.

Lindsay and Sean have their date first. What, no helicopter ride to their destination?? I’m so shocked! Instead they roll in this… It's bad-ass.

Photo credit: ABC

“I’m very adventurous but I won’t eat a bug.” Lindsay says. It’s like she knew that’s what they were about to do. She eats a bug anyway. Several bugs. Gross. I would never. Not even for love. Sorry Sean, if you asked me to eat a bug I just couldn’t. I prefer not to throw up in front of you… or on you. I don’t think you would like that too much either. “It’s starting to rain we should get outta here”? Sean says. They go to the beach, where it apparently doesn’t rain. Only in Thailand I suppose. They go to a different beach, I think, where monkeys just hang out all day. Sean is wearing his new swim trunks he just bought at the Thai market. They are awesome! Ha. I guess monkeys love grapes. That I did not know. You learn something new every day, and from television no less. Who says watching tv is bad? Ha. 

Photo credit: ABC

Moving would be fun, picking out a house would be fun, getting engaged would be fun. Everything would just be so much fun. Right Sean? I love Lindsay, I have since day one, but I’m beginning to see that her and Sean are only about fun, idk if it’s just the edit but every time I see them together they are always goofy and never serious. She mentions she takes this show seriously and wants love but that’s all. I never see them actually be serious for longer than two minutes. Don’t be too friendly Lindsay, you don’t want to end up in the friend zone like Kacie did! I wonder how she’s doing, and if she found a better job or is it still Ben’s season? Anyways.. back to Lindsay. 

Photo credit: ABC

<--Lindsay's failed attempt at the infamous Tierra eyebrow raise.

She struggles telling Sean she loves him but ends up telling him. Good, you don’t want to end up regretting not saying it like Lesley M. Just like Sean knew what Lesley was thinking when he asked her, he knows what Lindsay is thinking and he is waiting her to say she loves him. Just when she was about to not tell him a bunch of dancers came out. Perfect timing guys! After the dancers leave, he gives her the fantasy suite card; she reads it and does not hesitate to say yes. I wish I had a counter for how many times Sean says “You’re my best friend”. It’s probably at least 50x by now. “I feel the same way… aaaaaand... [pause] there is something that I do wanna tell you. [reallyyy long pause, like the longest pause that I have ever witnessed] …… [smile, pause]… I love you.” Aaahhh the music! It might as well have been the choir singing hallelujah. Hahaha.

Photo credit: ABC

Next up… Sean and Ashlee’s date. She says some form of “abandon” four times in less than a minute. She is the next Sarah, who talked about her one arm all the time. Sean took Ashlee to a big bad scary cave. They swim underneath it to get to a private beach. Ashlee don’t do caves like Selma don’t do rocks. Where are these cameras at? Are they like nailed into the walls of the cave? Seriously… I guess the caves are kinda scary. I would be clinging onto to Sean the whole way. For sure. And it finally rained! If anyone noticed… Fast forward to the evening part of their date. They talk and he hands her the fantasy suite card. She pauses, hesitant, but finally says yes. She then starts going into full detail about what kind of engagement ring she wants. I mean this girl gets so detailed about the ring that she can’t get any more detailed. I think it sort of scared him a little bit. It would scare me. Also dear, sweet Ashlee, could you stop saying “this man”. That man has a name you know. Thanks.

Photo credit: ABC

The least memorable date of this episode… Sean and Catherine. She is always the most excited out of any of the girls to see Sean. Which is awesome. They go on boat and just cruise. That’s all they do. I’m not joking. [pic]: Doing a little Titanic remake? Y’all can be weird together. Like totally. Everyone repeats themselves a lot. Catherine keeps saying she is weird, Sean is crazy about every girl every day and he also says best friend a lot, Lindsay keeps mentioning fun, and Ashlee keeps talking about her abandonment. Come on people. 

Catherine and Sean do a back flip off the boat, which is cool. “Where would you see yourself in five years? Sean asks Catherine to which she responds, “We would obviously be married.” Obviously.He gives her the fantasy suite card and poor Sean, he has to listen to the same thing three times. 

Photo credit: ABC

She is even less hesitant than Lindsay was when she accepted it. Omg she does not call him beefy and hunky! Lmao. That is just so great. I love that. “We’re in Thailand, it’s just us two….” She says. (And like five cameras pointed at you but who notices these things?)

Photo credit: ABC

Gotta love the chats with Chris Harrison. “So you’re telling me you’re in love? …. Wow.” Wow he says. Like it’s a shocker. That is the whole point of the show. I would say wow if he wasn’t in love with anyone. I wonder how long they have to stand there staring at the pictures… This is really intriguing. I really want to know. Overall, at least one quarter of the show is spent staring at something.

Photo credit: ABC

Oh snap, what? It’s time for the girls’ personal video messages? Lindsay is first. Sean smiles. Catherine is next. Sean smiles again. It gave her the “wiggles”? I’m not sure what that means… Ashlee’s video is next. Sean does not smile. At one point there is sort of a tiny smile but mostly it’s a serious face. And because of this, and only this, I know right away who he is sending home. It’s so completely obvious. His facial expressions say it all. I will also point out that she is the only one that cries. The other two girls are happy as clams and ashlee cries. Like always, about everything. But she doesn’t mention her abandonment… which surprised me.

Photo credit: ABC

The last rose ceremony! Noooooo! It’s way too soon, it can’t be over already! Now I’m depressed. But the bright side is the fire is still going. It’s raining and the fire is still going strong. I’m telling you, this is magic bachelor fire. It doesn’t melt the ice castle and it doesn’t burn out when it rains. This is amazing. How about that lineup of the girls at the rose ceremony, huh guys? Lindsay showed no cleavage, Catherine showed some and bam! Ashlee’s were about to fall out. It goes right down the line from least revealed to most revealed. I like noticing weird stuff like this. Does that make me weird? Because I am… weird. Catherine gets me. 

Photo credit: ABC

Sean’s speech was so sincere and I could see the pain he was feeling. I was heartbroken seeing him leave on the Bachelorette. Lindsay gets the first of two last roses of the season. She has been receiving the first rose the last few times. I hate the extremely long pause before he gives out the final rose. I couldn’t handle it. I think I would literally say out loud, “Just say it already!” I would feel bad about it after but I could not take the tension of waiting and being so nerve-wracked. It would just eat me up inside to wait that long. (Even though it might only be 2 or 3 minutes, it would seem like an eternity!) I don’t know how the girls do it. Catherine gets the last rose. 

I’m totally not surprised he sent Ashlee home. I like her, maybe a little less now after her dramatic exit, but she could have totally handled that better. I understand you love the guy… excuse me, this man… and you’re mad he didn’t choose you but giving him the death stare and not talking to him like that? Come on man what the hell was that! He obviously felt horrible about it but it had to be done, that’s how the show works. He can’t keep all of the girls. And you were too emotional and serious for him anyway. You will be okay, you will get over him and find another man to love. It hurts I know I have been there many times but things get better with time. All wounds heal with time. The memories are still there (unfortunately) but your heart heals. Don’t hate him for not choosing you. Advice to the next guy: do not piss Ashlee off! This is a friendly warning. She scared me with the evil glare. She completely turned 180 degrees around from being sweet and smiley to being your next murderer and enjoying watching you suffer as she sliced every part of your body in slow motion. Whoa that’s a nasty visual. Where did I come up with that? I worry about my brain sometimes. Actually a lot of times. Maybe I need a therapist. But if you have seen her evil face you would be thinking the same thing. 

Photo credit: ABC

“She didn’t say goodbye to us.” Catherine says. “She is piiiissed.” Lindsay says. “Just stay here.” Ashlee says. I am just in shock with my hands covering my mouth watching her exit. Holy crap. Where did this side of Ashlee come from? Poor Sean. Once again I feel really bad for him. He’s trying to explain himself and he doesn’t know what else to say. She is just standing there not talking and staring. How awkward. This is so hard for him and he doesn’t need her sore loser attitude making him feel worse. I’m sorry Ashlee if I am offending you, I don’t mean to, but you have to agree that you could have handled it better. More maturely. Never leave on bad terms. You might regret it later. She doesn't talk to Sean but talks to the camera in the limo. “This wasn’t a joyride for me. It wasn’t about laughter and joking and having fun.” Well you could have had some fun and laughter. It wouldn’t have hurt. Actually it would have made things much better. Next week is Women Tell All and she will be there. Can't wait to hear what she will say.

Photo credit: ABC

The letterrrrrrrr!!!! That is mostly what I am anxious to know about. Who is it from??! My guess is it’s from Ashlee. It makes the most sense. Because she left so angry and without saying anything to Sean so maybe she explains her reasoning in the letter. It could also be from Desiree. I can sort of understand that. And I’ve heard from some people it might be from his mom but I have a hard time believing that because the damn thing is a full page long! What could his mother possible say to him that covers a whole page? So we will see in two weeks (well 1 ½ weeks since I’m late on writing this recap. Busy week). Can’t wait for Women Tell All! Absolutely excited for it! Tierra and her tierrable eyebrow on her uncontrollable face will be back! Sarah, Des and Ashlee will be back. Oh gosh. This will be epic. 

I'm ending this post like always with some happiness. It's not credits with Lindsay this time. Ha. 

Photo credit: ABC

What math nerds. I need Sean to help me with my math. I can’t do math to save my life. My brain is slow in that department. “Sometimes when I’m bored I like to multiple things in my head just to see how fast I can come up with it.” Sean says. That screams nerd. Haha.

And then there were two: Lindsay, 24 and Catherine, 26. Who will he choose? 

Dun dun dunnn!

So that wraps up this episode. Hope you enjoyed reading my blog! Next week is Women Tell All, it should be very exciting! Have a good night all!

Until next time…

xo

All images are screenshots of the show taken by me (not taken from anywhere on the internet). However credit is still given to ABC for having the show available to watch online.

the bachelor week seven

OMG I cannot believe it is time for hometown dates. Where did the time go? It is week seven out of ten. Only two more episodes left (plus WTA) and then it. will. all. be. over. My Mondays will go back to me wishing it was Friday so the weekend can start. Sean will no longer be on my television screen. I don't even want to think about it right now. Also this week (Tuesday) there will be a never-done-before-in-Bachelor-history special episode called Sean Tells All. This is so exciting! I think I was more looking forward to this than the actual episode. Kinda bummed it was only one hour instead of two but I figured it would be one hour anyway so I wasn't too bummed. Anyways, since this is hometown week I am blogging this episode in a special and unique way. A picture is worth a thousand words, which is exactly how this post will go. I feel a picture will say more than words will. (But there are many words still, because I love to write). Make sure, if you are able, to read what is written within the photos. Although not absolutely necessary, it will, however, help you as you read. Enjoy!

Let us begin!

Four girls, Ashlee, Catherine, Lindsay and Desiree, have the privilege to take Sean to their hometowns. I miss Lesley already! I wish she made it this far. Anyways, first Sean starts things off in Houston, TX (which is about three and a half hours away from his house, just fyi). He meets Ashlee and her dog, Bailey in their hometown.

This is basically all that happens: Sean talks with parents, Ashlee talks with parents.
It is a very short day. 

Photo credit: ABC

She does, I believe, make Sean a little bit uncomfortable when she tells her parents what activities they participated in on their dates. (i.e. rolling in sand). I mean why would you tell your parents that? I sure wouldn't. But the day still ends on a good note.

Next, Sean travels to Seattle, WA to meet Catherine in her hometown and unlike Ashlee's serious and emotional date, Sean and Catherine have some fun catching dead fish. Yep, dead fish. Ugh Idk how I would handle that smell. Anyways, they go to her house, Sean does push-ups with Catherine on his back (again.. 1st time was before volleyball game ep 3), he has an awkward conversation with her mom, and finds out she is messy and career-focused when talking to her sisters (who kinda throw her under the bus as Tierra would put it). This is how it all went down... can you guys read the captions within the photo?

Photo credit: ABC

The date left Sean with a lot of questions. That's never good. Moving on...

Things get really interesting when Sean marches to Lindsay's hometown in Fort Leonard Wood, MO. (Get it? Military joke) Lindsay gets Sean "army ready, not regular ready, army ready" before meeting her two-star general father. I found this scene very funny and cute. Lindsay is just a funny and cute girl. I have to point out that Sean's army drills include push-ups. Lindsay has a brilliant idea. She wonders how strong Sean actually is and sits on him during his push-ups. Because that's never been done before. (Not by Emily's friend, not by Catherine twice, not by whoever else that wasn't shown on camera. This was completely Lindsay's idea). 

I wonder if Sean ever got tired of this and walked away to discuss it with Chris Harrison (who secretly wanted to try it also, because they have a secret bromance going on).

Sean eventually meets Lindsay's fab fam and it goes really well. Her mom is awesome and her dad is not "a hardass" as Sean assumed. The date ends with Sean receiving dog tags from Lindsay's dad. They also feed each other cupcakes.

Photo credit: ABC

Finally, the best was saved for last, Sean travels to Los Angeles, CA (aka dramatown) to meet Desiree and her family. Her mom and dad are so sweet. But that's boring television so they barely gets shown. Instead, most of the day was Sean getting heated and stressed. First, Des pranks him by making him believe her ex-boyfriend wants her back. Sean gets really confused and angry but takes it well when he finds out it's a joke. Nice, Des. I didn't think it was a good joke. You could have went about it differently if you wanted to prank Sean to get revenge for the museum prank he played on you. I mean Sean wanted to punch this guy! She does a nice job though keeping her straight face. (She almost breaks it, hence the hand over mouth) I think I would have ruined it by laughing. If I try to play a joke on someone, I couldn't keep a straight face to save my life. Ha!

Photo credit: ABC

Then the whole deal with her brother happens. And it's for real. I really felt bad for Sean. I mean there is a difference between being the protective brother and a complete assface. There was a line and he was so far across this line he couldn't see it looking back, He was totally rude and unacceptable. It really pissed me the f**k off just watching it. I seriously wished I could bitchslap the dude. How can you call someone you just met and know nothing about him a playboy and judge him like that? Ugghhh he really pushed my buttons! You could tell the parents were so uncomfortable and embarrassed by their son's actions. I would have definitely lost my cool if he was my brother and junk punched him in his man business in front of everyone and stormed away.

Photo credit: ABC

Now that Sean has visited each girl's hometown it is time for the rose ceremony to send one girl home. This is easily predictable who it could be. Although, not necessarily. Sean gives the first two roses to Lindsay and Ashlee. Easy peasy. No hard work there. Now he has to choose between Catherine and Desiree. 

He can't so this happens...

Photo credit: ABC

He leaves the room and talks to Chris Harrison about what his decision should be. To which Chris provides this piece of advice to him: "don't mess this up." ....... uhhh....... I don't get this statement. Why would you say something like this? Of course he doesn't want to mess it up. Way to add to the pressure he was already overwhelmed with! Sean returns and eliminates Desiree. Because he won't miss her as much as the other girls. And because her brother messed everything up. Because he is an assface. She should hate him. I would.

Desiree's reaction? Well let's see...

Photo credit: ABC

Sean is down to three lovely ladies: Lindsay (my favorite), Catherine and Ashlee. Onto Thailand! Where I guess they will be staying for the last couple weeks until this journey ends. 

As always, even though edited by me, all photos are credited to ABC. Have a good night everyone! 

Photo credit: ABC

Sean and Lindsay seem to take over the end credits. Several times they were featured, I guess to lighten everyone's mood after an emotional episode. I'm not complaining! I like seeing them together, being goofy and awesome. Here we have cupcake face! They are barely ever serious. (He gets enough of that from Ashlee, which is understandable considering her childhood). 

Until next week...

xo

All images are screenshots of the show taken by me (not taken from anywhere on the internet). However credit is still given to ABC for having the show available to watch online.

The Bachelor week six

Hola amigos! Week six has arrived. This is my favorite episode yet. So much shit hits the fan! Let's begin.

Photo credit: ABC

Sean likes breaking the rules. That’s one of the themes for this season: breaking rules. He does it this time by travelling with the girls via airplane. Excuse me... Seaplane.

Welcome to St. Croix, girls! It’s Sean’s favorite island: the VIRGIN islands. Ha. (Sorry Sean, just poking fun at the tabloids). Okay, moving on...

Tierra isolates herself once again with that whole separate bed thing.

Photo credit: ABC

“The cougar’s back in town.” Tierra says about Ashlee. Omg Ashlee you’re 32 years old! Why haven’t you found a husband and started a family yet? What’s wrong with you??!!! When Tierra is 32 she will have already accomplished this. (I say this with every ounce of sarcasm in me).

Taking a Catamaran to a private island? Yes please! So Sean and Ashlee go on their date... They have an aquatic adventure with lots and lots of romantic make out sessions. If Selma were on this date she would probably ask if they would take a boat to get to the catamaran... ha. (rock climbing reference). I miss Selma. 

Meanwhile back at the hotel...

The girls converse about Tierra. “I want to roll away her roll-away bed” Lesley says. Ha. I. Love. This! She totally should have done it.

Back at the beach...

Uh-oh. Here goes Ashlee telling Sean about Tierra. But he asked! So she actually tells him in detail how Tierra has been acting toward the girls. And finally he listens!

For the evening part of their date... 

Photo credit: ABC

Ashlee tells him she was married in high school. And he accepts the married high school junior! (as he puts it) Seventeen is really young to get married. And divorced. Like. for real. They also yell out into the night. Very loudly. Aaaaaand there it is! The first L bomb dropped. Ashlee tells Sean she is falling in love with him. Aw. That's so cute. 

Another date card arrives at the hotel...

Tierra never ceases to amaze me. She complains constantly about not getting a one-on-one date with Sean, and when she finally does get one she still complains about it! You fail, Tierra. wtf. smh. Let's take a quick look at her range of emotions toward this date, shall we?

Photo credit: ABC

The next day Sean and Tierra go on their date...

The last time Sean took a girl shopping, it didn’t end so well. He sent the girl home. Let’s make this happen again! Sean and Tierra explore the island and at one point sit down and talk. He asks about the drama and she calls him distant. And I believe she fake cries. Here she is getting high on some figs... that's probably what causes her craziness: too much fig juice.

Photo credit: ABC

“If you could do it over again, would you act differently in front of the other girls? Sean asks, giving her a chance to redeem herself and say yes but instead Tierra replies, “uh uh”. These girls aren’t gonna be around for much longer.” And there is your ticket home, Tierra. But wait! She then says, “I. am… faaalliiing…. for you…” This is said so awkwardly and insincerely. She’s totally playing you dude. She is only telling you this because of the whole drama-distant dealio.

4:42am- Sean comes in the girls’ room with a camera, wakes them up and takes pictures of them without their make up on. They handle it rather well. I think I would be cranky under the covers. That, or still be sleeping. Sometimes I'm a heavy sleeper. 

“I am like the lowest maintenance one here. I just need to pee and I’m good.” Catherine says. Ha. And this is why I love you, Catherine. For saying stuff like this. 

Photo credit: ABC

Sean takes Lindsay, Catherine and Desiree on a road trip across St. Croix to watch the sunrise on one side of the side and the sunset on the other side. I love road trips. I would definitely have so much fun on this date! 

Photo credit: ABC

Orange juice cheers!

Catherine’s alone time with Sean went perfectly. She told him about her dad. It was a very personal story that touched my heart. She is so strong despite all she’s been through.

Lindsay gets the group date rose. She will have the opportunity to bring Sean home to meet her family. “The crazy girl that walked in in a wedding dress now has a hometown rose. Nobody saw that coming.” Lindsay says. I always rooted for you, girl! You have been my number one favorite bachelorette since day one! :)

Photo credit: ABC

Lesley has the last date of this episode. She and Sean just chill. They walk around a garden and pick some fruits. What fun. Her pink skirt is too adorable! Poor Lesley can’t get enough courage to tell Sean she loves him when she knows she needs to say it. I bet she would have gotten a hometown date if she had told him. Your 2016 Sean and Lesley campaign ends today. That’s sad, I mean really sad. I thought you would make it further. You were, for sure, one of my favorite girls. Lesley Murphy as the next Bachelorette? I believe that to be a splendid idea. 

“I think we definitely have that chemistry. So….. let’s go pick some more fruit.” Oh gosh. So many opportunities to tell him you love him, and it never happens. But I totally understand the feeling. You wanna say it but you just can't. It's hard.

Photo credit: ABC

The next day Sean’s lovely sister visits! This is awesome. Sean needs advice and Shay is exactly the person to provide it. I mean who knows you better than your own sibling? And it was her birthday that day. Happy birthday Shay! Hope you had fun! She gave Sean some very wise advice: "Don’t end up with the girl that no one likes.” You better listen to her Sean!

Back at the hotel... this happens...

Photo credit: ABC

Tierra and Ashlee chat together. Shit hits the fan and Tierra blows up. Cue drama and fake tears. “I’m a 24 year old woman, you’re 32 years old.” So what, Tierra? So freaking what if she’s 32? What does that have to do with anything? You’re only 24 years old, a child. Apparently 32 human years = 52 Tierra years. And the best line in the history of best lines goes to Tierra! “I can’t control my eyebrow! I can’t control what’s on my face 24/7.” OMG. For real? You’re supposed to be able to control your face. If you don’t control your own face, who does? This concerns me greatly. It absolutely makes no sense whatsoever. “If I wanted to walk around with a smile on my face, I would but my face would get freaking tired.” Another wtf statement. Uhh.. I think if you actually wanted to do that you totally could. But whatever. Ashlee is fed up at this point and responds to Tierra's nonsense, “Go sit on your cot!” Haha yes! You tell her, Ashlee. What's even funnier is that Tierra obeys. Damn cot.

Sean is still talking with Shay about Tierra. He leaves to grab her so all three of them can talk. Literally two seconds before he enters the hotel the fighting stops. He finds Tierra being dramatic on her cot. “This is sooooo haaaaard Seeeeaaaan!” Like it isn’t hard for the other girls? I love this. You can see on Sean’s face that he has had enough. He is finally seeing the Tierra that everyone else sees. Listen to your big sister Sean, she knows what she’s talking about when she tells you to not choose the girl that no one likes. Send Tierra home. Now. Do it! 

Photo credit: ABC

(two minutes later...) BAM! Yes. Thank the Lord, Tierra the tierrable is leaving. Remember, Tierra, you still have your sparkle and no one can take that away. Ha! 

So after all of the girls went on their special dates with Sean, it's time for the cocktail party where everyone gets one last chance to show Sean how they feel about him. He enters the room and brings this news: “There’s not going to be a cocktail party.” 
Whoa that sounds familiar! Perhaps we heard Chris Harrison tell this to the guys on the Bachelorette. Ashlee is in the exact same situation that Chris Burkowski was in. Will she handle it the same way?

So skipping the cocktail party it's rose ceremony time! With Tierra gone, who else will be going home?

The piano music playing is simply beautiful. I mean I can listen to it for hours. So Lindsay already has a pre-ceremony rose so she is safe. And so the first rose goes to Des. Rose number two goes to Catherine. And the final rose of the night? It’s between Lesley and Ashlee. I’ll make my prediction and say Ashlee just because Sean and Lesley kind of had an awkward date… with a lot of awkward silences… and after so many opportunities, she never told him she loves him. It was hard for her, I get that.
So I was right. I will miss Lesley. Truly I will. Chris Harrison didn’t come back to tell Lesley to “take a few moments and say her goodbyes.” Wonder why that was. Catherine took it way hard.

Photo credit: ABC

So there we have it ladies and gentlemen. Sean has chosen his final four women. Next week are the hometown dates! Just when we thought the drama was over, it’s so not. Things might get crazy between Sean and Desiree’s brother. And how about meeting Lindsay’s two-star general father? If that’s not intimidating, I don’t know what is.

Photo credit: ABC

“Jammie Cocoa Christmas” Haha love this. Very sexy red onesie, Sean!

But what up with having your phone on hand? I thought everyone was cut off from the outside world. Maybe that only applies to the people in the house and not the Bachelor/ette. Come to think of it, Tony and Doug were also seen with their cell phones on the Bachelorette last season. Hmm. Whatevs. That's the end of episode seven. 

Hope y’all enjoyed reading my blog! Tierra's eyebrow is following me on Twitter! haha that's exciting. :) I will miss her uncontrollable arched eyebrows on the show.

Until next time…

xo

All images are screenshots of the show taken by me (not taken from anywhere on the internet). However credit is still given to ABC for having the show available to watch online.

the bachelor week five, part two

Hi y'all and welcome to week five, part two! Let's get started. 

Photo credit: ABC

O Canada! The girls and Sean head to beautiful Alberta, Canada. The scenery is absolutely breathtaking, and cold. Really cold. The girls settle in the Chateau Lake Louise. “If Tierra gets the one-on-one with Sean, I will throw up.” AshLee says. Haha.

Photo credit: ABC

Lindsay reads the first date card. Catherine, let’s find our fairy-tale ending, Sean. Aw that’s precious. Catherine gets ready and waits for Sean outside in the middle of a blizzard. Just waiting. Finally, Sean arrives in a giant snowbus to pick her up. They drive to Jasper National Park and have fun in the snowy, windy, icy glacierland. Sounds like a good time. I think by the end of this date I would become an icicle and Sean would have to unfreeze me. With his body heat. For like an hour. 

Photo credit: ABC

The next part of their date was Sean taking her on a horse drawn carriage ride. How romantic. And they arrive…. In an ice castle! Wow. That is freaking amazing! And the fact that it was built personally for them. I mean, how does one build a life sized castle made of pure ice? The rose embedded in the ice is genius. This reminds me of Beauty and the Beast because the rose is enclosed in a glass case and the whole movie is a fairytale, much like Sean and Catherine’s date. Even though I absolutely hate winter and freezing my butt off, I would love to have a date like this with Sean! It would be so much fun and romantic. So Catherine is really lucky to have the opportunity to experience this. They get cozy in the ice castle and Catherine shares a story from her childhood. It’s tragic and for someone, at 12 years old, to go through that and see that must be very traumatic and life changing. It touched my heart. And Sean’s as well. Their date goes really well and he gives her a rose. There’s also a small fire in front of them, in the ice castle. Must be some special ice for it to resist melting. It was really beautiful though.

The next day was the group date.

Sean and the girls will canoe on Lake Louise. Lesley is quick to hop into a canoe with Sean. AshLee is very jealous and Selma wants to tip their boat over. I love her little laugh she does, it cracked me up. Is that Lindsay I hear screaming for joy when Sean tells the girls they will do a Polar Bear plunge in the lake? Hahaha. Why is she so excited? I wouldn’t be. It is beyond freezing outside! I think I would do it but I wouldn’t be excited about it. Not like Lindsay and Daniella are, it almost makes me question their sanity. 

Photo credit: ABC

Side note: when the lady supervising them during their polar bear plunge says, ‘it’s just above freezing” this is so, so completely wrong.

Photo credit: ABC

This photo says different. 0 degrees Celsius is -32 degrees Fahrenheit, which is so way below freezing it’s not even funny. That is ice glacier cold my friends. I think she was confused because of the 0 degrees. 32 degrees Fahrenheit is 0 degrees Celsius, this is the freezing point, not 0 degrees Celsius. It amused me and thought I would point that out to everyone. But it's okay, we all make mistakes. Anyways, back to Lindsay's excitement.

Photo credit: ABC

Like, why would you be that much excited to jump in freezing cold water and risk getting hypothermia? My response to this lovely idea of emerging myself in freezing water is exactly like that of AshLee’s. She and I are on the same page with this. Then there is Selma. She absolutely refuses to do this. And when her mind is made up, it’s made up, there’s no changing it. (She told Sean this) I don’t know if she realizes this but she just shot herself in her foot by not doing the polar bear plunge with everyone else. 

Photo credit: ABC

Note to Selma: Sean is looking for an adventurous, not-so-high-maintenance woman that is willing to do anything. “Sean’s hot, I’m hot, let’s just jump in and be cold hot together.” Ha. Oh Daniella. I think I include a quote by her in each of my blogs. I should have a Daniella quote counter. So they all jump in the water and go right back out, I don’t even think they were in there for two seconds. Judging by all the screams during the whole thing, it is pretty cold. And they were cold to begin with. So now they are really, really cold. Idk how I would handle it, hopefully not freeze and die. Kind of like what happened to Tierra. She may or may not have been suffering from hypothermia. Call the paramedics! Again. Desiree and Catherine watch what’s happening from their room. They literally ask who it is like seven times. It is kind of annoying me. Geez girls, come on who do you think it is?! I looked up hypothermia and this is what I discovered: 

Photo credit: ABC

       “Hypothermia can happen within minutes of falling into cold water, but the symptoms generally develop gradually.” (MayoClinic)

Minutes, not seconds. Obviously she was freezing, but I don’t believe she was hypothermic. I mean, she was only in the water for like one second. All she needed was a ton of blankets to wrap herself up with and she would have been fine once her body temperature returned to normal. The paramedics took her back to her room and she rested in bed while eating a hamburger. She was also put on oxygen. Okay come on she doesn’t really have hypothermia people! She definitely wouldn't be eating anything because if you're hypothermic you are extremely sleepy. Everyone jumped in the water and was freezing afterwards but they were fine, some were even jumping around excitedly because they had fun. They were in the water just as long as Tierra was if not longer. I don't think even I would have gotten hypothermia and I'm really sensitive and skinny.

According to Lindsay, jumping in ice cold water was a dream come true. And I’m thinking, in what universe would that be anyone’s dream come true? Your dreams worry me, Lindsay. “I want to go all over the world and do the polar bear plunge.” That’s just crazy. Don’t do that. AshLee refers to Tierra as the little boy who cries wolf for attention and I completely agree. Sean visits her in bed and she magically recovers. Just like when she “fell” down the stairs. “Same story, different day.” As Lindsay puts it.

Moving on to the evening part of the date.

The girls go to Deer Lodge to spend time with Sean while Tierra is stuck in bed. “There’s a rose on the group date tonight and since Tierra is injured there will be more time for the rest of us. It’s a guaranteed no drama.” AshLee says. So you think. But Tierra always find a way to surprise.

Photo credit: ABC

Sean and Sarah chat privately and she shows him some family photos. Sarah I think you’re a little ahead of yourself honey. Sean isn’t supposed to meet your family until the hometown dates. If you make it that far. Which you won’t. Because showing Sean the family photos made him realize he doesn’t want to meet your family. It was a sad moment, I felt some sadness for her when Sean sent her home. Before the rose ceremony. A thought popped into my mind when she said she had a prosthesis when she was little. I thought why doesn’t she have one now? It actually really makes me wonder. Because the whole point of a prosthesis is to make your missing body part function better. You could have two arms Sarah if you choose to! So I’m perplexed by this. I forgot she loves to talk about her arm to people and it would be odd to randomly bring it up in conversation if she had a prosthetic arm. It’s easier to talk about it if people see that you only have half an arm. That’s my opinion. It makes sense right?

Meanwhile back at the witch’s lair…

Photo credit: ABC

Photo credit: ABC

Just as we expected, Tierra is fully recovered and is getting ready to crash the girls’ party. “How to fake an injury 101. If this was a class, Tierra would be teaching it. Everyone watch your back, we have a Tierrist on our hands.” Lesley describes Tierra when she enters the room where all of the girls are at. “Oh my gosh your hands are so warm.” Sean says. I bet they are. She was never hypothermic in the first place. By the way, a person who does suffer from hypothermia will have many symptoms that come on gradually and it takes them a while to recover. Unlike Tierra, who is better when Sean visits her. 

Photo credit: ABC

“Tierra, she cries wolf a lot.” Lindsay says. Yes! You hit it right on the money! That is exactly what she is doing. And I love the suspense music at that scene when Tierra is putting make up on, that is so funny. It fits the situation perfectly. Also the view of the moon (and the wolf howl) right after Lindsay says that Tierra cries wolf. I really loved that! Ha. I think it’s one of my favorite moments of the show, just because it’s so funny how they connected it to Tierra.

Apparently Sarah suffered from the Bachelor’s first date curse. And I haven’t watched previous Bachelor seasons to know exactly what this is. So I’m like very confused by this phrase. But Sean sends Sarah home because he doesn’t feel forever with her. She takes it like a champ, almost sporting the don’t care attitude. But deep down inside she is hurting. She hides it well. I really felt sad for her. Now all that’s left on the show is a bunch of two-armed crazy chicks. Except Catherine, the crazy is yet to be revealed in her. But life would be boring if we were all perfect, we need just the right amount of crazy to make things interesting :)

The next day Sean and Des go on their one-on-one date.

Photo credit: ABC

They will be repelling down a 400 foot mountain to have a picnic at the bottom. Of course they are. I tweeted about this and here is what I said: 

Des keeps saying it’s really steep and that she will fall and die. It kind of bugged me. I mean say it once and be done with it. Also, do you not see that rope in your hands and around your body? That is what will stop you from falling to your death, genius. Unless the rope breaks, then you’re s.o.l. but how often does that happen? Have some fun with it Des! This would be Lindsay’s dream date! She would probably have the greatest time repelling down. “It would be a lot harder if Sean wasn’t here right now.” Des says. You wouldn’t be there if he wasn’t there. Ha. . I think I would be as excited for this date as Lindsay was for the Polar bear plunge. I would be jumping down the mountain. Ha. It would be really funny if they got to the bottom portion of the mountain, after unhooking themselves, and then fall down. It’s like really? At the bottom you fall? Ha. But they didn’t. 

Photo credit: ABC

Photo credit: ABC

They have their picnic and then climb a tree. And shout from said tree, while the the elk (not caribou or moose) stares at them probably thinking, “wtf, why are y’all shouting?” Ha. So they wander around the woods and discover a teepee. They enter and have a chat. Sean wears an amazing sweater. Ha. And it’s not snowing so what is in her hair? The ash from the fire? She begins talking about her family and says they lived in a tent at one point. Excuse me, what? THE GIRL LIVED IN A TENT! What. The. Hell. I mean I understand that there are poor people in the world, but how poor do you really have to be to live in a tent? For four months! I heard this and bam. So many questions hit me. 

Photo credit: ABC

Where do you pitch your tent? Where do you get your food from? What do you do all day? Did your whole family live in a tent? If so, it must have been a big one to fit all of you. How did you go to the bathroom and take showers? How did you deal with the weather?  Trailer parks exist you know, and homeless shelters. Also friends’ houses. I think I would blurt out all these questions and kind of put her on the spot unintentionally, and then probably feel bad that I did but I don’t think I could have restrained myself from asking just because it’s an intriguing issue. I just didn’t get this story. Anyways, she ends up getting a rose. “I opened up about spending some of my life living in a tent and here I am falling in love in a teepee.” She says.

Photo credit: ABC

Finally it’s time for the cocktail party and rose ceremony to follow. “Let’s be honest. You’re going to wife that?” Selmas says. Ha. I wonder how your mom feels about the outfits you wear, Selma. Your two somethings always look like they are about to fall out. “So there is something that I would like to do, but I need you to hold still.” Oh I loved this. Who says this right before they kiss someone? It made me giggle. I tweeted about this and here is what I said: 

I was so confused about what Lindsay was doing when she and Sean were having their time alone. “I can’t kiss you, it’s so hard not to kiss you, I wanna kiss you, don’t do it, okay do it.” That was a lot to take in, I was just sitting there on my couch like what the heck is happening right now, what is she doing? Oh and nice secret Lindsay, Ha. No guy would fight you on that.

Photo credit: ABC

AshLee takes out a scarf. She tells Sean what the scarf means to her and asks him to blindfold her. Oh my goodness, Ashley P. wishes she was here right now! AshLee says, “I feel like I pushed a mountain out of my life.” Uhh ok Ash. Whatever that means.Is this along the line of “lifting a brick off your shoulder?” If it is, it makes sense you just phrased it weird and if it’s not then I’m totally lost of what you meant. Anyways. This show is almost over, again. Two hours blazes by. It depresses me. On the bright side, it could've been one hour like all the other shows so I guess I’m thankful that it’s two hours. Get to see more of Sean, that’s always amazing!

So it’s that time now when the girls line up in a room and nervously await for a red plant that resembles Sean’s love…

Look at Lesley's face! It scared me.

Photo credit: ABC

Lindsay gets the first red plant at the red plant ceremony. AshLee gets the next one. And finally, the last red plant goes to… Tierra. The girls that received red plants throughout the show include Catherine, Lesley and Desiree. Selma and Daniella are plantless and have to leave immediately. I was surprised he let Selma go. I bet she is super pissed about kissing Sean on national television and now having to go home. Can’t imagine how disappointed her mom is right now for her on screen kiss. You brought shame to your family and culture, and what do you have to show for it? Nothing. My thoughts about Tierra staying another week? I give up trying to understand what he sees in her, why he likes her. I give up screaming at my screen and stressing out. I just don’t care anymore about it. As long as my girl Lindsay gets a rose, I’ll be happy. My top three are Lindsay, Lesley and Catherine. I mean I was shocked that Sean gave Tierra a rose over Selma but I just give up caring. She will go home eventually. Sean won’t choose her at the end. I don’t even know why he kept her around this long but whatever. Looks like we will have to expect more Tierrable drama for next week. I wasn’t surprised that Daniella was going home. I figured it would be her and someone else.

Alrighty that wraps up week five. I'm so glad Sean feels better this week, last week was hard to see him be so sad. Onto week six! Hope everyone enjoyed reading my blog, it was shorter than the others. How did that happen? Ha. See y'all next week! 

Photo credit: ABC

“I just thought it would be a cool place to pee.” Oh God. Hahahaha. That was too great. So funny. 





Until next time...
xo

All images are screenshots of the show taken by me (not taken from anywhere on the internet). However credit is still given to ABC for having the show available to watch online.