the bachelor week three

Welcome to week three!

How can we start off this episode tonight? Let’s brainstorm. Oh yeah, Sean will be working out. Obviously. It would be cruel not to begin each episode with a look at Sean’s fabulous abdominals. Take note of this statement producers! They did mix it up a bit, Sean’s work out included the treadmill. Which is always nice.

Photo credit: ABC

Moving on.

Chris has the girls gathered around the bold, bright paintwork that is the living room. Desiree doesn't look too excited for the date card Chris left them with.

Not even five minutes in and I have my winner for Best Quote of the Day. It belongs to Robyn when she says, “I want the date card to say, ‘Robyn, let’s ditch these bitches and go fall in love for real.’” HA! I love this. Absolutely made me giggle. The first date is for Lesley M. I love the zoom on Leslie H. when Selma reads the date card. Automatically we know it won't be her.

Photo credit: ABC

I am in love with Leslie M.'s dress! 

So cute and fun. And sexy. And really, very short.

Sean takes her to the Guinness World of Records. She’s not impressed. Until Sean shows her his dad’s world record on display. It’s pretty amazing! The road trip must have been super fun. So they meet up with Chris and he tells them they will be attempting to break the Longest On-Screen Kiss record. Oh goodness this will be interesting! Three minutes and 16 seconds is a loooooong time to kiss. She takes control and kisses like a pro. She does the whole face-holding, playing-with-the-hair type thing. Somewhere Arie is very proud of this girl. She be doin’ his moves! Ha. I don’t know about Lesley, but I would be through the roof excited for this challenge! Not only will the kiss be with Sean, but it will be eternally long and recorded in the Guinness record book. How exciting is that??

It’s so fun to watch, Lesley wants to laugh so hard but she can’t otherwise they would fail. Keep it together girl! I love the three different camera angles. Makes it more interesting to see the different views at the same time. “The hardest part is trying not to laugh because our lips will come unsealed.” Says Sean about the kiss. Yeah, that would be pretty difficult, I’m not sure if I could have restrained myself from laughing. I think Chris mentions in his blog that they failed their first attempt (by laughing} and had to start over. Which is cheating, but hey it would be pointless to watch if they didn’t make it.

Photo credit: ABC

Did we catch the butt grabs? And as short as her dress already is, it’s even shorter now. Still very pretty. Love the lace detail and the open back. Good thing it’s a tight dress and doesn’t ride up easily {and it’s not windy out}. Wonder how awkward it was for them to make out for this long with a crowd cheering them on. Oh wow I didn't even notice the couple making out next to Sean and Lesley the first time! Did anyone else see that? (This is my second time watching this episode). “5..4..3..2..1.. ok that’s it! That’s it! Stop!” Chris exclaims when they broke the record but are still kissing. They continued for at least ten more seconds. Confetti flies around everywhere. And who gets to keep the certificate? I would assume she does. Or they might just hang it up in the Bachelor Mansion somewhere. 
If it was me I would want to keep it.

Commercial plays and then its night time when the show returns. What? Hold up, it was broad daytime, like noon or something, during the on-screen kiss and now it’s night time? Where the heck did the rest of the day go? Whatevs. So they are on a roof on top of the freaking Roosevelt hotel. That's crazy. Sean must love roofs! Many dates happen on roofs.

“That’s the best compliment you could give me” she says. And Sean’s response? 
A very long pause.  ....

“I took control back. Now I’m waiting for you to take it back.” he says. And Lesley’s response? 
A very long pause.  ....  
These two are made for each other! Ha. But I did find it adorable that he hinted at her to kiss him. It was so sweet.

Photo credit: ABC

The thing with the wine glasses cracks me up. They keep holding them even when kissing. I was yelling at her through my screen to put it down! Ha. It makes me nervous just watching what will happen. Are they going to spill or not. Like I don’t know how they can kiss and hold them! If it was me I would have to put it down before kissing. I definitely wouldn't be able to hold it and kiss. Either I would be focused on the wine and not spilling it and have a weird kiss or I would focus on the kiss and forget I’m holding the wine and end up spilling it. It would be pretty embarrassing either way. But it’s awkward holding the glass and kissing, you don’t know what to do with your hand, it’s like in the way and you don’t want to hit the other person with it. This would happen to me. So they talk, she gets a rose and they kiss again.

Photo credit: ABC

OK WHERE THE HECK DID THE CONFETTI COME FROM? Was there someone hiding around the corner and as they kissed the confetti was released? That’s weird. Or maybe a confetti timer somewhere?

Meanwhile, back at the mansion…

Another date card arrives. It’s a group date! Those are always fun. And it’s a lovely trip to the beach for 12. Side note: Amanda has no fashion sense. What is she wearing? On a different note: Kristy and I have the same shorts! Ha.

Photo credit: ABC

Sean does push-ups with Catherine on his back. Wow Catherine, did you come up with that idea all on your own?

Chris Harrison joins the beach party fun! This should be interesting. He tells the girls that they will be split into teams and compete against each other in a beach volleyball game. Awesome.

Photo credit: ABC

Dear volleyball game: you are an epic fail. Epic. Fail. Most of the girls, maybe 10 out of 12, suck at volleyball. It’s not that hard, if it comes to you, you hit it. I don’t see a reason for struggle. For Daniella especially, she struggles the most. Volleyball challenged much? I bet her team was pretty upset with her for missing so many points. My girl Lindsay killed it! She dominated the game. Way to go girl!

Photo credit: ABC

And it’s Kristy who lost it for her team. That’s probably why we see her sobbing like someone in her family had just died. Relax girl it’s only a game. You will survive this, I promise. Some advice: trying to hit the ball with one arm… bad idea. You will always miss. I was on a volleyball team in school so I know these things.

Sean takes the winning team to his house for the second part of the date. “I love that I get to spend time with Sean at his house” I think Des says this. But the point is that IT’S NOT ACTUALLY HIS HOUSE. Ha.

Kristy is crying again when the girls arrive back at the mansion. Catherine is chill I love that about her. We would definitely be best friends. And Lesley M. The three amigos!

Photo credit: ABC

Sean and Lindsay talk in private and I think I saw a tattoo on her left wrist… They kiss and there’s face holding again! Both do it at the same time and it looks funny. Like odd funny. Nevertheless, Arie is cheering somewhere. Sean is slowly picking up his moves. I like the face holding. I think it adds intimacy to the kiss.

Desiree’s turn to have two minutes of alone time with Sean. “You saw me killing it?” she says about the volleyball game. Sean replies, “smashing people.” Hahaha, what?

Back at the mansion….

Date card rings the doorbell. I’ll always be impressed by this. Tierra races to the door. Because she has an evil plan in the works. And the date is for… AshLee!  And Selma. What? Since when is there a two-on-one date? There isn’t. If we were watching the Bachelorette, then that happens all the time. Plenty of two-on-ones. But we’re not, we’re watching The Bachelor. That might have been the cruelest joke in the history of cruel jokes. I would slap a hoe right there. You do not do that to a girl! Can’t imagine how Selma must have felt. Shiiiiiiityyyyy! The amazing part is Tierra doesn’t even realize what she just did. She thinks it’s funny but it’s not in the least bit. Come on Tierra how would you feel if someone did that to you? Oh wait I think we can all guess what you would do. I felt so bad for Selma. Poor girl. That’s seriously messed up.

Photo credit: ABC

“That really wasn’t funny. Don’t ever read my name on 

a date card as a joke.” Says Sarah. True dat! That 

was so wrong. Check out Tierra’s face. She is exultant. 

Meanwhile at "Sean's" house...

The private conversations with Sean continue and it appears to be Amanda's turn. I laughed so hard when she said she will bring a "light, fun, airy atmosphere" if they got married. If I was consuming any liquid during that scene I would have spit it all over the place! Then I would need to clean it up. That would suck. Anyways... Apparently Desiree and the girls she is with are sitting very close to them and can hear Sean and Amanda's conversation. To which Desiree says, “You are kiiiidding me girl.” Ha I love how she says this about Amanda’s fake happiness when she’s around Sean. 

Moving on… this is where things get confusing. Kacie opens her mouth and a bunch of nonsense comes out.

She tells Sean about Desiree and Amanda's drama. Yeah, that's a splendid idea. I completely agree with Sean. Amanda’s drama has nothing to do with you, Kacie so why are you involving yourself? The fact that this situation is making you feel like you can’t be yourself is weird. You’re not making any sense! And she says she’s in the middle of it when she is putting herself in the middle. “I don’t feel like it’s my place” she says. YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT IT’S NOT YOUR PLACE SO WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT IT? I don’t get it. Sean doesn’t get it. Not to mention he calls you crazy. Warning: you might be going home. Sean don’t dig the crazy chicks. But then again, Tierra and Amanda are still here. 

Photo credit: ABC

I’m not a drama person.” She says. And right after she says that Sean clears his throat. It’s the obviously-you-are-a-drama-person throat clear. I swear she contradicts herself at least five different ways in this single conversation. She says she doesn't want to hurt the girls and yet she is telling on them to Sean. I want to know what she expected to happen when she told him this. What did she expect him to do about it? Have a little sit down with Desiree and Amanda and have a special talk with them? Nuh-uh.

So AshLee is getting ready for her date with Sean. Ok I know you have to bring a change of clothes on the date with you but why a full suitcase of stuff? Are you really going to change outfits every hour? Or half hour… Oh and that dress! It’s not cute.

Call 911 someone has fallen down the stairs! Guess who? None other than Tierra. Either she practices daily falling down staircases until she figures out how to land perfectly on the bottom of them or she never fell in the first place.

Photo credit: ABC

I want to actually see someone fall down the stairs and land like Tierra does. She obviously faked it. There’s no way you can end up laying like that after you fall down the stairs. No way. Let’s take a look at her position on the stairs. It’s perfect. Her butt sits perfectly on the stair and so does her head. That doesn't happen when you actually fall down the stairs. I should know I have fallen down the stairs a couple times. “Seconds before I walked in” Sean says. SECONDS before. Hmm that’s a little fishy. “This is embarrassing. This is so stupid.” she says while the paramedics are trying to help her. YES TIERRA, IT IS! It is very stupid you would fake an injury and cause more drama for everyone. While I further investigate the fall, I hear thuds and then screams. But in reality the scream would come first and then the thuds, am I wrong? One more note: that was the weakest scream ever. So forced.

Photo credit: ABC

What is your deal Tierra? Also the hospital thing, if you refuse to go you are faking it. Everyone knows that. Then when Sean is sitting with her she is all better. Because nothing happened to her. Here is a photo of her after she “falls and hits her head”… Does that look like a concussed person? Or an evil genius?

“Nothing is really wrong with you little doll” AshLee says. I love the “little doll” part. Ha. So true. AshLee, I love your wittiness.

“You should start falling down the stairs more often” Sean says. WHAT ARE YOU DOING GIVING HER IDEAS SEAN? You know she will do it. DON’T ENCOURAGE THE CRAZY!

Photo credit: ABC

So after all of the dumb Tierra drama, AshLee and Sean finally go on their date. He takes her to an amusement park. She wears a dress. A really short dress. I wonder how that’s going to work out for her. Where’s the suitcase full of clothes she packed?

Photo credit: ABC 

But I do love this date. Sean bringing Emily and Brianna to the amusement park was amazing. That’s my favorite part about him. He is so much involved with charity and giving back that makes my heart melt and love him so much more. I love the western photography photo shoot. I have the exact same picture with two of my friends.                       Here it is...

Sean had the Eli Young Band perform a mini concert for AshLee and the girls. I love the song they sang but how awkward was it for the band to sing when it was just Sean and AshLee? While watching them make out? I bet super awkward, they probably got paid well.

Photo credit: ABC

When Sean and AshLee were alone talking, she was telling him her story about her family and he teared up. It was so sweet and heartfelt. I wanted to give him a big bear hug! Like this…

Photo credit: Team Husar Wildlife Photography

It is time once again for the cocktail party…

Sean gathers all the girls for a quick chat and then leads Sarah to a limo. “Wait, are you sending me home? You can’t do this to me!” Sarah says freaking out. Nope it’s not your time yet Sarah, Sean has a special surprise for you. IT’S LEO! How classy is a dog in a limo?? So precious. Sucks for whoever had to clean up the limo after Leo.

Photo credit: ABC

Photo credit: ABC

We see Sean and Tierra 

talking privately at one point. Tierra’s forehead dent should have its own twitter page. Her eyebrows already do! 
Hey eyebrow, you wanna be bff''s? -Love, forehead dent. 

Wow girls are stealing Sean left and right. Its madness! I mean he goes through like ten girls in, what, two minutes? (At least it seems so the way it was edited, or maybe it really happened this way. That would be impressive. Or scary. Or both.) Like I said it’s a cat and mouse chase.

Lookie here! Kracie… uhh I mean Kacie is back! And wants to talk to Sean about Des and Mandy. Oh Gawd. Again? Why! Kacie, you are just making it worse for yourself. Here’s some advice woman to woman: stop talking. Save yourself from more crazy.

Anyways… I totally thought I heard Sean say “I’ll see you girls with the rest of the money.” Okay what? That was a major confusing moment for me. I had to rewind and listen again. But if you think about it and say it all very fast, the two sentences sound similar. Rose ceremony… rest of the money… kinda? Don’t judge me.

Rest of the money Rose ceremony time!

I see the roses still have extremely long stems. Seriously I want to take one and measure it. Any guesses on the length? Mine is about a foot and a half. That’s freaking long! Would it really harm anything to make the stems a normal length?

Okay back to business... The first rose…

Very long pause, longer than usual. And oh snap! Sean separates Kacie and sends her home. We all saw that coming. I told you girl you were making it worse for yourself. Shouldn’t have told Sean about the Desiree/Amanda drama and now you’re going home. I’m sure she saw it coming too. I mean when you get separated from the other girls at the rose ceremony you know something’s not right. Kacie got demoted from friend zone to awkward-avoid-this-girl zone. And omg, what is she wearing? It’s not stylish.

Photo credit: ABC

Bye Kacie. Now you can get back to your job. Which is still Ben’s season. Find a real one. You have plenty of time now.

I’m sorry, am I being too mean?

So Sean’s back and the first rose goes to Tierra. Ugh whatever I’m not even going to say anything. Next rose goes to Leslie H. Then it’s Catherine, Daniella, Robyn, Selma, Sarah, Jackie, and Amanda. And the final rose of the night goes to Desiree. “Des, will you accept this rose?” Aww Sean is calling her Des now. That’s adorable. Lindsay, Leslie M, and AshLee already have pre-ceremony roses.

So there we have it. Another rose ceremony come and gone. With two more ladies leaving. Taryn and Kristy. Sorry girls. Should have fought harder. Maybe if you didn't fail at volleyball, you might still be here, Kristy. 
Sean is now down to 13 lucky ladies.

That wraps up this episode recap! Hope you enjoyed it. Good night.

Until next time…

xo

All images are screenshots of the show taken by me (not taken from anywhere on the internet). However credit is still given to ABC for having the show available to watch online.