the bachelor week one

I'm two episodes behind on blogging about each episode but here I am about to blog the previous two episodes today. Which means I will have to re-watch each episode today to get every detail correct. Week one here we go...

Photo credit: ABC

Photo credit: ABC

Let me begin by saying the premiere party in Indianapolis was beyond amazing! I got to meet Arie, the former bachelor on Emily's season!! It was so exciting to be there watching the first episode on the big screen with him (and like a million other girls... ok maybe not a million but there were a lot of us there). I loved the episode but I had to re-watch it the next day because I was more focused on where Arie was in the room and what he was doing. (It wasn't just me, everyone was focused on him too, but who wouldn't be I mean he is right there in the same room!) It was all very exciting!

Here is the photo we took together...

Not a very good picture of me but Arie looks amazing! The lighting could have been better.

Alright now that I have gushed about how awesome I think Arie is and my happiness about the night let's start discussing the show Sean. I was so excited when it was revealed that Sean was the new bachelor! (back in like September or something) He is so cute, sweet, genuine, family oriented and PERFECT. It would be a dream come true to meet him. But I live in Indiana so that is highly unlikely. It's depressing. I just love him. He is the most gorgeous man I've ever seen and he is religious! My favorite part about Sean is that he spends so much time giving back to charities, the community and his bachelor fans. I cannot believe someone like him actually exists. Thank you, Lord for creating this amazing, perfect being. I truly hope you find happiness Sean! Best of luck in everything you do. Your future wife will be the luckiest girl ever. (I secretly wish that it was me)

The episode opens up with a look forward at all the drama that will unfold as the show progresses. Can't wait! Three minutes later we see Sean running and working out. Shirtless. Thank you ABC we didn't have to wait very long for this :)

Photo credit: ABC

omg. it's getting hot in here.

After this lovely scene we see a flashback to Emily's season. It always breaks my heart to watch Sean as he gets into the limo after Emily sends him home.

Fast forward to Sean's family's scene. They have such a beautiful house. And omg I would have loved to have a life sized doll house when I was a little girl. His family is so cute!

Moving on.

Hey a wedding on the beach! That Sean happens to be on at the exact same moment. How convenient. But beautiful nonetheless.

Photo credit: ABC

Aahh the v-neck. We will be seeing you quite a bit.

                    

                           Photo credit: ABC

Photo credit: ABC

"I want to be that rock." Sean says in a voice-over. While standing on a rock. I love that!

Photo credit: ABC

Moving on.

My second favorite bachelor, Arie, visits Sean in his bachelor mansion and gives Sean some kissing lessons. I think this was my favorite part of this episode. I laughed forever! But my favorite line is "I can't use the 'it's not you it's me', because it's obviously gonna be them." Sean says while brainstorming how to break up with a girl. That about did it. I would have been rolling on the floor laughing if I wasn't in a room with hundreds of other girls. (I'm at the premiere party still, remember?) Also the whole tongue thing Arie did. That only added to the laughter. But he's right. Sloppy=gross.

                    

                           Photo credit: ABC

Photo credit: ABC

 Arie and Sean, you guys are major goofballs.

So after I calmed down from this hilarious scene, (I had to, I didn't want to be the weird girl who cracked up laughing ten minutes later when nothing was funny), it was time for Arie to go and Sean to meet the girls he would welcome into the bachelor mansion. 

DUN DUN DUN.

Along comes a limo and Sean exits it as Chris Harrison anxiously awaits him. They reminisce about his experience at the mansion during Emily's season. When Sean is left alone before the first limo full of girls pulls up, he takes a moment to say a prayer. This was so cute I loved that he prayed! He must have been so nervous.

First up... we have AshLee. (With a capital L, is that what it says on your birth certificate?)

Photo credit: ABC

And she's a personal organizer. How nice. I like her. She is pretty and I love her dress. 

Next up is Jackie, she puts on lipstick and kisses Sean on the cheek leaving her mark on him.

Out comes Selma (who must have seen Jackie's kiss and stuffed a tissue in her bra. Unless she just does that all the time. That would be weird). She pulls it out and uses it to wipe Sean's face. Um I would be a little creeped out if I were him. Who does that? Why not just hold the tissue in your hand like a normal person? Whatever.

Next out of the limo is Leslie H. For real? There is actually a non-white girl on this show? I think she is really pretty. And tall. And a person who says holy toledo. Which I don't think I've heard anyone say before.

Daniella is next. The nano second I laid my eyes on her, Britney Spears' face popped into my brain. 

Photo credit: ABC

Am I the only one that thinks they look alike? I loved it. Oh and what was up with that extremely long hand shake? Girl... no.

Kelly's turn to exit the limo now. 

Photo credit: ABC

Cruise ship entertainer? FOR REAL? wtf. She also sings for Sean and is quite good.

Moving on.

Katie with her poodle hair is next. She teaches Sean some yoga and also isn't wearing any shoes. Ew what are you thinking?

My girl, Ashley P. steps out of the limo next. O-M-G. I love this girl. 

Photo credit: ABC

I didn't read 50 shades of grey, and now I really don't want to. Thanks Ash! And how did you get the tie to fit in your bra so nicely? Did you practice that? Sean looked scared. I would be too.

Taryn and Catherine exit out. Not together though, I'm just combining them in this sentence because nothing interesting happens. Taryn says she hasn't watched the bachelor seasons before and Catherine calls Sean a hunk. I liked her dress. Also Taryn looks way older than 30. Sorry Taryn, but you do. Still pretty though.

Robyn makes an interesting exit. She does one successful back flip and falls midway during her second one. It was the dress. You can't do back flips in gowns.

Lacey "lace" is next, she gives Sean a heart made of lace. And that's that. 

Paige is a jumbotron operator. That is funny. She has also been on bachelor pad 3. The way she said that made it seem like she was bragging about it but she didn't even make it through the first rose.

Epic fail.

Next up, we have Tierra. I think she is by far the prettiest girl in the house. But she looks high maintenance. She says to Sean, “I have a tattoo of an incomplete heart on my finger, and I want you to complete it”. 

Photo credit: ABC

Sean gives her the first rose straight out of the limo. The other girls give her mean, jealous, i-wanna-kill-you stares once she enters the house.

Photo credit: ABC

Back outside, the next girl stepping out of the limo is... AMANDA! She does the whole awkward pause thing there always happens to be on first dates. It was weird to watch. I didn't know what to do.

Now Keriann tells Sean that she drove 2,775 miles to be on the show with him. Why the heck would you drive all the way from Florida to California?? We do live in the 21st century and airplanes actually exist. Believe it or not. I mean, I like road trips but this one is ridiculous and I would never do it.

Katie Holmes is next to meet Sean. Wait. Is that right? Hold on. ........

Photo credit: Hawt Celebs

Photo credit: ABC

Oh my bad, it's just a girl who looks exactly like Katie Holmes. Her name is Desiree. She is as pretty as Katie and I love the back of her dress. Yeah I said the back. The front is okay but the back is way cool. I love the color red.

Coming up... Sarah. She is pretty. And has one arm. Well technically she has one and a half arms. Which is more than one. But no one says "I have 1 1/2 arms" that's kinda odd. But she seems sweet. 

Photo credit: ABC

I love that she just stands there after getting out of the limo. Kinda gives Sean 

a chance to absorb what he is seeing. (Or not seeing).

Okay. Next is Brooke. She purrs in Sean's ear. Whoa! What! That's just weird, girl.

Aren't we done with this yet, how many more girls have to exit the limo??? We see the limo pulling up several times. I wonder how many times it drives around...

Anyways...

Diana, the mother of two daughters, is next up in line to meet the gorgeous bachelor. Is she the oldest of everyone, including Sean?

Another girl named Leslie is next. She spells her name differently than the other one and is white. Leslie brought a football and does a fake play while admiring Sean's "tail". Haha love that. 

Photo credit: ABC

Clever girl. 

We see from her video that she will campaign for Sean's heart if she has to. Since she works in D.C. and all. 

Photo credit: ABC

This is cute. But have you noticed the year? Why 2016? Is that when she wants to be married to Sean? (if he picks her, but 2016 is 3 years from now, so will they be engaged for 3 years?) Will her campaign last until 2016? I don't understand. She is still cute. I like her. We would be best friends.

Next is Kristy. According to her, she's "best from the midwest". Yeah, okay girl. 

You and your big teeth can stay there. Ford model... 

Another Ashley is on the show! Ashley H. I love her dress! It matches Sean's eyes. (As she put it) Her greeting: "Hi ken, I'm barbie."    .......

Only two more girls remain to exit the limo. Lauren. What can I say about Lauren? Besides the fact that she said her dad will break Sean's legs if he breaks her heart and that she wants to take him home and feed him Italian food... homegirl gives out a pycho vibe. She claims to be joking, but in all seriousness, why would you say something like that when first meeting someone?? And on a dating show where you are competing for the bachelor's heart!! Yeah she is going home. I just know it. I mean I would have sent her home right after she said that. Freak.

Drum roll please! The final girl of the night is stepping out of the limo. Who is it? None other than Lindsay Yenter! Girlfriend arrived in a wedding dress. That is freaking awesome! "Did I miss the memo?" Sean says after meeting her. I personally love this girl! She has balls to do this. (ha, Sean) I could not make this bold move.

Photo credit: ABC

Not only is she wearing a wedding dress, 

but as she goes to hug Sean, she kisses him on the lips! 

Photo credit: ABC

Photo credit: ABC

                        

This is his reaction...

She definitely was "not wasting any time." (As Sean told her) 

Now that we have met all 25 girls, it's time for the cocktail party. Or so we think. Chris Harrison pops up and tells Sean there is a surprise person (26th girl) waiting in the limo. He anxiously waits and sees....

KACIE B!!!!!

Photo credit: ABC

It's Kacie from Ben's season. I didn't watch Ben's season so I don't know what her deal was on that show. She also drove a buncha miles to meet Sean. Except they already met. A few months prior at a charity event they did together. He saw her as a friend. And she wanted out of the friend zone. We will see Kacie B., we will see. And I love your occupation! Ben's season? No way! (unemployed much?)

So now... that we have met all 25 26 girls let's get on with the show.

Sean sits with a couple of girls, talks to them and hands out roses. WHAT! That's not supposed to happen! The girls go crazy. Let's take a look at some of the girls' faces...

Photo credit: ABC

Photo credit: ABC

This is when Sarah is telling the girls that there may not be any rules. Sean just gives out roses to whomever he pleases, whenever he pleases. 

Speaking of the roses, they all have ridiculously long stems! It kinda 

bugs me. And oh my gosh they are thornless! Yes Sarah, of course 

they are, the producers wouldn't give out roses with thorns on them 

so everyone can bleed all over the place. This isn't Twilight. 

Sean and Lindsay sit and talk. She asks him for their wedding dance. She also asks for another kiss. “I swear I'm not contagious” Really Lindsay? Why would you say that? Sean doesn't end up giving her a rose. “I guess he didn't get the joke.” “I wish I was more sober right now.” She says. She wasn't as drunk as Ashley P though! Oh I love that girl. Watching her make a fool out of herself was priceless,. It was very entertaining. She drunk dances and falls down a single stair and just sits there. Then she goes and interrupts Paige and sits with Sean to talk to him. She pulls out the 50 shades of grey tie from her bra AGAIN. What? When did she put it back in? And more importantly, WHY did she put it back in? He tells her, "I also brought a rape whistle in case I'm in trouble." I loved that! Girls, when a guy tells you he brought a rape whistle, you're done. Date's over. You're outta here. Sean said it best, "50 shades of grey may have become 50 shades of drunk tonight." I completely agree. That's too funny.

Photo credit: ABC

Photo credit: ABC

Heeeeeyyy! Get it girl!

Sarah goes and talks to Sean. She tells him about her arm. She says she is completely comfortable talking about her arm. And she does talk about it. Like all the time. He gives her a rose and she is stunned. How can a girl with one arm get a rose? Because Sean doesn't care that you have one arm or 1 1/2 arms. That's how.

So the time has come for the rose ceremony. 

Instead of Sean having 19 long-stemmed, thornless, perfect roses to hand out,
he only had 7. Those 7 roses went to... 

Amanda! She also gets the biggest grin award for smiling ear to ear; Lesley M; Kacie B; Kristy and her teeth; Daniella who resembles Britney Spears; Taryn; and the final rose of the night went to LINDSAY! My home girl in the wedding dress. Everyone thought she was crazy and even Sean was scared at first but she will forever be remembered as the wedding dress girl. That was her plan all along, to be memorable, and it worked. Good job girl. The last girl out of the limo gets the last rose of the night. 

The ladies that received pre-ceremony roses are pictured below. 

Photo credit: ABC

The girls who didn't get a rose are as follows:

Jumbotron operator and ex-bachelor pad contestant goes home rose-less.

Cruise ship entertainer also goes home.

Miss 2,775 miles has to drive 2,775 miles back home. I bet she is really pissed for driving all this way now.

Heart of lace goes home without a rose. 

My home girl 50 shades of grey has to drunk dance back home.

Break-your-legs girl goes home to feed herself Italian food.

And pretty blue dress girl. I did really like her dress.

Fairwell all.

Well that is it for this blog! It is extremely long but there was a lot of ground to cover! Thanks for reading!

Come back and check out my week 2 blog of the bachelor! It won't be this long. Probably.

Until next time...

xo

All images are screenshots of the show taken by me (not taken from anywhere on the internet). However credit is still given to ABC for having the show available to watch online.